I met my younger self for coffee today.
She was running late. So was I. Some things never change. She walked in, wide-eyed and hopeful, full of questions and dreams too big for her hands to hold. She ordered a fat-free, sugar-free vanilla latte. I smiled and ordered a coffee with regular milk and a splash of regular vanilla syrup. I asked if she wanted to split a pastry because now, we know it’s okay to enjoy the little things.
She asked, “Did you ever create the family you wanted?” I smiled as I brought up pictures on my iPhone and told her that, yes, we got married and have two healthy and happy children: a girl and a boy, just like we always dreamed. She grinned because she always knew.
She asked about the house—the one with the big windows, beautiful view, and warm kitchen—the house that we once sketched in journals and pinned to vision boards. I nodded. We live there now.
“Did you ever get another dog?” she asked, hopeful we did. I laughed and nodded. Yes. But not just any dog, a soulmate Golden Retriever. The kind that knows you and loves you like he was meant to find you in this life. He’s even better than we imagined.
She hesitated before her next question. “Are we happy? Are we healthy?” I reached for her hand. Yes, and yes. Our body is stronger than it’s been in a while, and our mind is mostly at peace, and I say mostly because we still have the same personality and think about every little thing. Most importantly, many of the people we love are still close.
And what about the dreams? The ones that kept us up at night, the ones we didn’t know if we’d ever achieve? I told her many of them came true, but we are still chasing some. We’re writing, creating, and hopefully on our way, but we aren’t there yet.
She took a deep breath, then whispered the question she never said out loud before, “Are we good enough?” I looked at this younger woman who always felt like she had to prove something, who wondered if she was ever truly enough just as she was. I squeezed her hand and told her the truth: We have always been enough. We’re just stronger, wiser, and more confident now to know that.
She exhaled, a weight lifting off her shoulders. She took a sip of her latte and a bite of the pastry, then looked at me, not with doubt, but with something new. Pride.
For the first time, I think she truly believed that we had made it so far and still had so much more to look forward to.
