A couple of weeks ago, I was mindlessly scrolling on Instagram trying to decompress a little bit between doing laundry and the dishes. The algorithm definitely knows me well, and I usually get a mix of parenting posts, workout tips, fashion finds, adorable puppy videos, and healthy ways of dealing with anxiety.
I found a post where a random account shared the phrase “Protect your peace.”
I let that sit with me for a minute. It resonated with me, and it’s like Instagram had read my mind and known that I should read that statement right then and there. I recently encountered a few situations that were weighing on me heavily. My inner mind and heart screamed at me, using a tiny screen to convey the message. And I heard it loud and clear.
Having been a people-pleaser for most of my life and only recently finding myself through much-needed personal growth, I knew how important it was to protect my peace. After I turned 40, I made a promise to myself to surround myself only with people who bring me joy, make me feel safe, and enrich my quality of life.
The people I choose to spend time with need to make me laugh, support me, and teach me things, making me better than I was the day before. If someone or something is off, I usually know right away. My mother always said I was blessed with the spirit of discernment, and I could usually tell if something was good or bad for me.
Looking back, there were many times when I didn’t feel entirely comfortable at a certain place or with a certain person, and I would try to fight it. I didn’t want to be right.
But my body, especially my stomach, would start to feel off, and I knew that this person or situation would ultimately wind up being bad and unhealthy for me and would often put me in a negative headspace. I would even have bad dreams at night and still do when something isn’t right or good for me. My dreams have never steered me wrong!
However, the positive side of learning how to take care of myself now is that having gone through life and made certain mistakes, I now know what is best for myself, my family, and, most importantly, my inner peace.
I try to protect my heart and mind more carefully now than I did when I was younger.
If something brings me unnecessary stress, I try to avoid it, or I even say no thank you to something being offered. I try to resist the old urges of being impulsive and lying to myself, telling myself that something will be great when, in actuality, I already know it’s not meant for me.
When someone is constantly negative, I create a bit of distance. My first inclination is always to help, and I try my best, but when it’s not making a difference, and that person invades my peace, I have to take a break politely. They are most likely going through a journey that will take some time.
I remember a time when I was younger and had gone on a job interview for a teaching position. The interviewer wanted to hire me and said she would like to do so, but not before talking down to me, attacking some of my core philosophies, and telling me that she could fix a few things to get me where she wanted me to be. Having been in a job once before that brought a lot of heartache and stress, I knew where this would lead, and I knew better than to sacrifice my sanity again.
I looked at her and politely told her I would not accept the position. I’ll never forget the shock on her face as I walked out of there…shaking but proud. I had started my long journey of learning how to protect my peace.
I also realized that even though I had made progress, my anxiety was often hurting my attempts at protecting my peace. I have incorporated some strategies in my daily routine to try and silence the noise in my brain when I get overwhelmed.
I find that a daily workout, eating well, especially limiting sugar, and having an organized schedule and routine for the kids and my job help! Also, I try to make time for my friends when possible because girl time always brings me out of a funk.
I told my husband that we must make time for our relationship and not forget who we used to be. Trying to do something fun for ourselves is always a great way to break up the monotony and support us laughing and having a good time. When my relationship with him is solid, my peace benefits.
