The following statement is obvious, but it bears repeating; being a mom is a full-time job—one with none of the pay and atypical benefits. Your average career will offer weekends off, paid vacation (hopefully), and maybe some health benefits or holiday bonuses.
Motherhood, in contrast, is 24/7/365—no sick days. No bonuses. Definitely no paid vacation. As moms, we are both the boss and the employee, in charge of our kids’ schedules, meals, and living environments, while at the mercy of our mini overlords. So it is no wonder it can feel hard to make time for ourselves.
I’ve been slowly learning, though, that doing so is essential for being the best mom I can possibly be. As part of my commitment to take time for myself, a girlfriend and I recently took a weekend away from our kids. A whole weekend. Being away from my kids for the short time I have had in the past has been challenging, so I was convinced I’d struggle. Don’t tell them this, but I didn’t. Did I miss them? Sure. But I also felt more myself than I have in a long time.
Away with a friend from before our kids graced this earth, it felt like we were back to being the ‘kids’ we were years ago, back when we lived in NYC, young and carefree. No schedules, no meals to cook, no kids to put to bed, and no food shopping or laundry to do.
Why didn’t I do this sooner? Why didn’t I prioritize more time just to be me? Not me as a mom, a wife, a career woman, but me as a human?
I came home feeling more refreshed than I had in ages. It was the reset I desperately needed.
So really, why didn’t I do this sooner? Because as a mom, I often feel my obligations are entirely toward others. I know I’m not alone in that. But the analogy of putting on your oxygen mask first is a good one.
I am a better parent when I am a happy parent. When I engage in self-care, and especially when I engage in self-care beyond the basic “Hey, I showered and put on real clothing today… and they are clean!” Mindfulness and meditation were a start. Pursuing my hobbies was another step (hiking, writing, etc.). And now, I’ve started accepting that it is absolutely okay to take time away!
I’m still learning to take space for myself. It is a journey, not an event. That said, my friend and I are already planning our second girls’ trip! And while I absolutely love my children, husband, job, and home life, I’ll admit it; I can’t wait!
