If you are a mom, then you are most likely experiencing the “Invisible Load.” Maybe you are aware of it or have never heard the term. For those who haven’t, it is described as the often unnoticed mental and emotional burden of managing numerous tasks, responsibilities, and concerns related to the family and household, even if not explicitly visible in daily activities.
The Invisible Load encompasses motherhood’s unseen yet significant aspects beyond the tangible work.
Think of it as buying the birthday gift, scheduling the play dates, signing up to bring in cookies for the bake sale, making sure there is soap in the shower, etc. It’s all the little things that go unnoticed daily but would be noticeable if forgotten.
Throw in December and the holiday rush to the daily stress of the Invisible Load; it could be enough to make anyone break. Between buying gifts, making sure your kid is dressed in plaid for “winter solstice day” at school, and trying to make the holidays as magical as possible, the Invisible Load can be almost too much to bear.
So what’s a mom to do? I always make sure I’m taking time for myself.
I stay consistent with my workouts and try to get movement daily. Moving my body is what keeps my head clear. When the anxiety of a “to-do” list kicks in, I try to breathe and walk for ten minutes. I can almost guarantee that after the load seems a little lighter.
The second thing I try to do is prioritize and set boundaries.
I can focus on what truly matters by identifying and prioritizing specific tasks. Give yourself some grace and establish clear boundaries to protect your time and mental well-being, recognizing that not everything has to be managed perfectly. For me, a teacher’s gift is a high priority (shout out to all the teachers for all you do!), but having the most elaborate tree isn’t (your kids won’t know any less, and it’s about the memories anyway). It’s also okay to say “no” to things you know will fall on you and cause more stress.
The third and final one may be the hardest for me, as a self-proclaimed “control freak” when it comes to household duties. Asking for help and delegating are tough pills to take.
During the holidays, it’s a must. Asking for help with little things can lighten your Invisible Load. Asking your spouse to pick up dinner on the way home or stop at the store and grab a few things can be game-changing. I’ve even found leaning on friends for support and returning the favor to them huge.
