Having children, a dog, and a home to take care of shouldn’t limit who you are as a woman. Be limitless.
I didn’t notice it right after I got married. I was still independent, working a 9-5 job. It was just the two of us that I had to cook for. I had this drive to take a nutrition and wellness course and get certified while embarking on a fun hobby, now known as Healthy Italian. It was fun. I let go of my inhibitions and enjoyed learning and being creative.
The feeling began soon after I got pregnant with my first child, and it grew along with my belly. It continued after having my son, buying our first home, and then adopting our dog.
It’s easy to fall into a rut when focusing on something other than yourself. I had myself on the back burner for a while and no longer felt that fire inside. There were too many other things to do, and you’re a bad wife and mother if you dare put anything else first, right? Wrong!
I was slowly losing myself as a woman.
Over the last couple of years, maybe because I turned 40 or maybe because my kids are a little more self-sufficient, I consciously made a mental shift to strive to live my best life. It’s not a race but rather a marathon. I believe that one must purposely create a happy life every single day. Things change, and life happens. I choose to keep living and moving forward.
It begins as a state of mind. I decided to own who I am at whatever stage of my life. Strive for joy daily. This isn’t always easy. I find thinking about what I’m grateful for makes me more joyful. If I’m facing something challenging, I think of solutions, knowing I have a way out.
Always be inspired. I read a lot, people-watch, have conversations with strangers, listen to music, and scroll through social media. I get ideas for my writing, a recipe I want to try, or a place I want to visit.
You may have forgotten yourself, but you slowly start to remember. I don’t think anything is wrong with looking back to move forward.
I look at old pictures sometimes and remember how I felt at that time and what I did to feel that way. It’s ok to repeat history yet reinvent it at the same time.
I think that when you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, your confidence allows you to be a better mom, wife, friend, or daughter. Your body will change, but if you focus on health and longevity instead of obsessing and being hard on yourself, the results will be better and more long-lasting.
Celebrate anything you want unafraid and unapologetically. Life is to be enjoyed, even the little moments. And sometimes no one wants to celebrate with you, and that’s ok. Do it anyway. Embrace everything about yourself; if you want to improve something, you can do it out of love and respect.
Find ways each day to take care of yourself. It’s not selfish; it’s essential. Do your hair, makeup, and nails. Get a facial or a massage. Choose a cute outfit, whether it’s casual or dressy. Just feel put together. Get in a workout daily and make it a point to nourish yourself with healthy foods you enjoy. Know that sometimes nourishing yourself is having a Sauvignon Blanc at lunch.
I’ve recently embraced the power of walks. They are free, get you into the fresh air and sunlight, and are a great workout. It’s also an uninterrupted time to pray, speak to God, and strengthen my faith. It’s very profound when I’m out in nature.
It’s so important to go out with your girlfriends. Stop feeling guilty about leaving your kids and doing things for yourself. Because guess what? When you finally start taking care of yourself and making yourself a priority, you become a better mom to them—someone who is more patient and loving. The more you pour into your own cup, the more you can give.
Spend time with the people you love and who love you back. I enjoy spending time with my parents these days. There is a different dynamic when you grow up. I am grateful that I still have them; I think each day with them is a gift. Get rid of those that make you feel anything but loved. Decide to become enamored with love and want it in your life and create it. You deserve it. I deserve it.
Adopt a pet of your own or visit with one. Since my golden retriever came into my life, I have felt a new level of mutual love. Being in his presence makes me feel like I’ve been in therapy. I feel calmer, bonded, and more at peace.
Be obsessed with all things fabulous. Treat everything like a beautiful occasion. Present happy and not frumpy. No one wants to be around a constant complainer. It’s draining. Every day is to be celebrated whether you are casual or dressed up.
Find that fire inside you that gives you your voice and confidence back. Trying new things and deciding they aren’t for you is ok. That’s how I learn and grow. You will never regret trying new things, meeting new people, and visiting new places.
Make your home your sanctuary. Get rid of things you don’t use or no longer find appealing. I am a self-proclaimed homebody. As much as I love going out, I equally, if not more, love the comfort of my own home.
Make your food beautiful. Buy the best ingredients that you can. Enjoy the cooking process. Savor each bite. And serve your food with love. I have recently been researching the food here compared to Italy, for example, and trying to emulate the better, simple ingredients and benefit from their effects on my health.
Feel good and radiate it. Happiness is the most beautiful thing. Come back full force and live your one life to the fullest. Create the life you’ve always wanted to live. The choice is yours because the ride is short. It’s never too late. Be limitless.
