As moms, we all love our kids, right? We would do anything for them and move mountains if we needed to. But let’s be honest here. Sometimes those little buggers can drive us bonkers, and we need a time-out.
My kids are great, but sometimes they get at each other and bother each other to no end. During those times, I hear an overabundance of a screaming whine: “Mom!” (That scream makes me want to change my name!).
I’ve tried everything to keep the peace between my girls and kindness in their hearts—sticker charts, rewards, conversations, etc. Most of the time, they do behave nicely, but every once in a while…well, you can imagine. One day, not too long ago, my patience was particularly short, and the kids, while bothering each other, seemed to be hitting my very last nerve.
I wanted to scream, yell, and leave the house. Instead, I stood up and excused myself, claiming I was giving myself a time-out. I marched right up to my room and closed the door.
There was silence in my room. I took deep breaths and sat on my bed for a few minutes. The silence was most enjoyable. Downstairs, there was silence. I believe they were too stunned to talk. A time-out for Mom? Unthinkable. What could it mean?
A few moments later, I returned downstairs, we had a conversation, and peace was restored. So, what was it all about? Why did I give myself a time-out? There were a few reasons. Number one, I didn’t want to lash out at them. Screaming doesn’t help; it only makes the problem worse.
Removing myself was a way to ensure my feelings didn’t escalate unreasonably.
But it was more than that. I wanted to show my children that being mindful of your feelings and taking time to reconfigure your thoughts is a good idea for anyone.
A time-out is not mere punishment but a coping mechanism. Closing your eyes, breathing, and counting to ten can make you see your issue in a new light.
My youngest has been taught mindfulness in school. She has done slow breathing, focused on finding her center, and body scanning to reconnect to her feelings. Showing her that I could take the time-out to be mindful became a powerful lesson for her that her school lessons had real-world applications.
And, while we are honest, just having that two-minute break was lovely… and I’d do it again anytime.
