As a kid, do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? Teachers, doctors, and veterinarians are popular answers. At four years old, I remember being asked this question by a teacher. I said I want to be a mommy!
My teacher laughed and said, “No, what kind of job do you want to have when you’re a grown-up”! I then felt silly for saying a mom and said the first thing that came to mind: an artist.
But deep down, being a mom was what I truly wanted to be. I’m naturally nurturing and caring.
It’s no surprise I became a registered nurse, as caring for others is important to me. I was an RN at a hospital in NYC for a little over six years, and although I did enjoy being a nurse, it could never fill the need I had to care for another the way being a mother has.
I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I think some of it comes from my mom being a single mom and always wanting her home. When I was dating my now husband, I never shared with him that I wanted to be a SAHM because I thought it was something that couldn’t be attainable. But when our firstborn daughter was diagnosed with a rare chromosomal condition, our world turned upside down, and we had to make some big decisions.
No one can prepare you to become a special needs parent.
With all the therapies my daughter needs (2-3 different therapies, five days a week), I could not focus at work. What if something happens to her while I’m at work? “No one can take better care of her than me!” I thought.
Transitioning to a SAHM was an easy decision. My husband and I quickly concluded that I needed to be home with our daughter. Buying our own home could come later, and vacations could wait; it’s all worth it to be home with my kids, ensuring they’re being well taken care of.
So, my wish came true to be a SAHM, of course, not how I would haveve wanted it to happen. But I have trust and faith that this is all happening for a good reason, even though it sometimes hurts.
Becoming a special needs mom has shown me another side of motherhood. It’s devastating, the future becomes scary, and it’s unfair. But, believe it or not, this entire situation strengthened my marriage and faith in God and has made me a more resilient mom. It also opened us up to a wonderful community of special needs families.
More importantly, I see how strong, determined, and sweet my daughter is even through all the doctor visits, tests, evaluations, blood work, and therapies. Because my daughter’s condition was not passed on from my husband and me (it was a random genetic mutation), we decided to have another child. We welcomed our sweet son this past August.
I was born and raised in NYC for the first four years of my life. So, I was pretty young when my family and I moved to Westchester County. When I stop and think about it, many of my core memories were made here in Westchester. I think it’s so special that I’m taking my kids to the playgrounds, church, and stores I went to growing up.
I have memories of going to Playland, Saxon Woods, and the Greenberg Nature Center as a kid, and I can’t wait to take my little ones there, too. I’ve always loved writing, and I’m so happy and grateful this opportunity presented itself! As moms, we need to carve out time to do what makes us happy.
