In the world of travel sports, you often get exposed to more than you bargain for – the schedules, the money, the tryouts, the late nights, and of course, the travel (as duly noted right there in the name of the game).
And even though we travel, parents may complain here and there, I’ll bet most of us don’t mind going the extra mile to see our kids involved in an activity that they love. I will say that I never expected that my daughter’s birthday and school district cutoff dates would affect participation in a travel softball team, but that’s precisely what happened this summer.
No Christmas in July
I know it’s mid-summer, but can we talk about December for a minute? My daughter has a December birthday. December 25 in fact – because if you’re going to be a few weeks early, you might as well be born on the biggest holiday of the year. Even 11 years later, I still think it’s hilarious, but I’m glad that she absolutely loves it.
Our school district has a December 1 cutoff, meaning a child must be five years old by that date to enter kindergarten. As a late December 2007 baby, my daughter did not meet that criteria and needed to wait until the following year to enter kindergarten. Except for the cost of an extra year in preschool, it was no big deal to be in a grade with 2008-born babies.
It was all of seven days, which made virtually zero difference in the scheme of things. That is, until the world of travel sports came upon us.
My daughter is 11 years old and just finished fifth grade. To provide a little background on her sports journey, she started playing soccer in pre-k. By the end of second grade, they were already speaking travel sports, which was a foreign language as far as I was concerned! Tryouts were based on the calendar year, so she would not be trying out with other second graders. She would be trying out with girls born in 2007.
The majority of the babies were already in third grade, except for those born in December due to the school cutoffs. She was in second grade, trying out with girls in third grade. Hmm…. that’s a bit of a disadvantage, no? If you are a grade ahead in school, you could have had another year of playing under your belt, so of course, they had a leg up on my daughter already. She went for the tryouts and did not make the team.
Simultaneously, she was playing her first season of softball and decided to call it a day on soccer at the ripe old age of eight. Sure, she could have continued playing recreational soccer, but even at that young age, interest and enrollment in it dwindled as most girls moved on to travel teams. Luckily, softball has been a much better sport for her, and she has been playing it consistently. She played through the fall and spring seasons, winter clinics, and the 10U (A team!) travel teams last summer and last fall.
The plans were to try to do the same this summer. Her date of birth had other plans, as the travel sports tryout rules read:
10U if you are 10 or younger on December 31, 2018.
12U if you are 12 or younger on December 31, 2018.
The 7 Day Itch
Crap. She was already 11 by December 31, 2018. She’s too old. She’s 10U. By seven days. Isn’t it a blessing to be born on Christmas?! As there was no 11U in this league, my daughter had to try out for the 12U team. A mere seven days later, she was upped to 12U, and she had to try out with girls who could be 2 years older than her. Girls who are in sixth and seventh grade. Did I mention that due to the school cutoff, she is in fifth grade? And therefore plays with fifth graders?
Here we are again. The December birthday, coupled with school cutoffs, is a detriment.
She tried out for 12U but did not make the team. The feedback was that she was not developmentally ready. Of course, she’s not; she’s never been on that level! She is not in sixth grade. It’s a different game – the ball size is bigger, and the distance from the mound is bigger. Again, if she made the school cutoff to begin with, she’d already have a grade ahead, playing with these older girls, and may have improved her skills because she’d have one more year under her belt. If she were ahead in school, she’d already be playing at the higher grade level. Although she would have been on the younger side, she would have at least known the 12U game.
Seven days too old for 10U and not ready for 12U. In the league she played in, she was the only one without a home. I asked around our league. I asked friends in other travel softball leagues. Come on – there has to be wiggle room? She was due to be born in January 2008 – does that help any?
I’m not an “I’m not everyone gets a trophy type of girl, but here we are: summer season, and her spring teammates are playing on an age-appropriate 10U team. They are practicing, playing, gaining confidence, enhancing their skills, and getting better – without the pressure of schoolwork and homework, and without having to wake up at the crack of dawn for the school bus. All while my daughter is basically benched because she is seven days too old.
Nope, Not Over It
Yeah, yeah, yeah… life isn’t fair; it’s lessons to learn. Get over it. There has to be a cutoff somewhere. Bleh. I don’t want to do it this time.
After the summer tryouts, I had conversations with the league representatives. Overall, the response was, “Yeah, it sucks!” or “It happened to my son, too.” Um, I don’t care. don’t. Go to bat for them – pun intended. What the league doesn’t see is how she affects herself as an individual player.
What they don’t see is what this can do to her confidence, interest, motivation, and, not to mention, the potential of lost playing time – reality being that the only thing she really has against her is that she was born seven days too early.
The recommendation was to have her practice more to improve enough to make the 12U team for the fall. Ok, sure! Easy peasy. But wait, how and where? Because there is no place for her to play in a league she’s been playing with for four years. Totally thinking with my heart on my sleeve here, but can’t help but feel some disappointment and lack of support from her current recreation league. Would they rather lose a player down the road than support her, even a bit more?
Full disclosure: They offered my daughter the opportunity to “practice” with the travel team, as practices aren’t “formal “and aren’t the travel team organization. Not ideal, but my husband and I encouraged her to accept this offer. Ultimately, she declined. Forcing was not an option. There was nothing we could do or say to convince her, so we went elsewhere for a summer clinic. Luckily, she was offered a 12U travel opportunity with another town.
Two Strikes Against Her
August is here, and tryouts for the upcoming fall travel sports season are fast approaching. The scenario will be the same. Sure, we could explore the other travel league again, but I have a hard time believing that this is how it has to be.
Not only does she have the relative age thing against her, but she also has the school cutoff thing! Is she good enough to play for the long term? I don’t know. Don’t worry, she will be going out again for the 12U, but this time with her friends, schoolmates, and fellow teammates who were on the 10U team this year (those 2008 babies). They’ll be playing on the field, then, right? And if she doesn’t make it because of her skills. True to some extent. Because let’s not forget the extra playing time her friends have on her because of their more extensive travel experiences.
Although it wouldn’t be, maybe the recreation league for a certain sport should at least match the exact cutoffs of the associated travel league they play in. Or at least if school years matched? December babies get screwed and aged down for school and aged up for sports. Pick one universe.
Please don’t take it as me trying to portray my daughter as a superstar. She’s not. She’s good, she’s strong, she’s passionate, but she has plenty to learn. But good enough for that 10U travel team she’s seven, she’stoo old for? Absolutely.
