Wherever you are in the motherhood journey, there is something about the “last baby” doing the “last milestone” that makes you stop and realize how much time flies by.
My last “baby” is starting her last year of preschool. Albeit, we gave her an extra year and “the gift of time” (holding back just sounds so hard sometimes). This is it. The last year that I’ll have all kids in full-time public school.
When I had my first son 9.5 years ago and was dealing with sleepless nights, loneliness during the day, and being very overwhelmed with newborn and infant life, my husband would say, “Just wait, one day they’ll all be in school; and you’ll have so much time on your hands.” He was right; as much as I hate the “just waiters” (who does that serve?). Here I am looking at one more fall, winter, spring, and summer. Then that’s it. They will be.
And while it’s sad, happy, and everything in between. I’m trying my best to soak in my last year. I’ll enjoy every preschool pick up where she is so happy to see me, every little bit of extra “girl time” we’ll have before her brothers get home from school. I’ll even try to enjoy making her lunch at home (although that one will be tough to enjoy every day).
But while I’m soaking it in, I’m also trying to embrace what’s on the other side.
Finding me again, focusing on my business, and having more than 2.5 hours to breathe and get things done. Being a stay-at-home mom is wonderful, but it’s also all-consuming, and it will be so nice to really put more effort into myself and see what I’m capable of in the next stage of life. Being able to hopefully split time between being “mom” and being “me” will be a challenge that I’m excited to take.
With all the “lasts” also come all the “firsts.”
The firsts are exciting, the firsts are new, and the firsts can bring you a new sense of self. So, to all my “last year” moms out there, let’s enjoy, embrace, and accept it. But let’s also remember that’s what can be pretty damn great on the other side too.