Ah, the holidays! It is a time for laughter, cheer, and overbearing family members. While joyful for some, family gatherings can be a significant source of stress for others. So, if you’re feeling a little more Grinchy going into family gatherings this holiday season, let’s explore some holly jolly boundaries you can set to raise your spirits.
1. Be intentional with the gatherings you choose to attend.
The holiday season can quickly become bogged down with endless parties and events to attend. If you’re feeling overwhelmed just looking at your calendar, you may want to rethink all of those plans. Take a look at your plans and see if there are any events that make you go ugh instead of yay! If you can, consider saying no to some of those ugh plans to free up space and energy for the events you enjoy.
2. Be firm around feasible times for you and your family.
A few things can derail your family’s schedule, like holidays. Whether it’s having to wake your kiddos up early from naps, keep them up far past their bedtime, or all of the time spent traveling from one place to another, holiday plans can be a recipe for some seriously cranky littles.
So, if you have plans that interfere with your schedule, consider what is feasible for you and your family. If you feel comfortable going off-schedule for the day, great! But if you’re dreading the day (and the following) because of how your kids will be impacted, see if you can tweak the times you attend the function and stay firm in your decision.
3. Set yourself up for success with conversations ahead of time.
Having conversations ahead of time can help family gatherings go a lot smoother. If there are any topics you don’t want to be brought up or comments you’d rather not hear, see if you can have a direct conversation with your family beforehand.
4. Consider what may help you feel more comfortable.
Are there any changes that you can make that would help you feel more comfortable during family gatherings? Consider what some of those options are and if they are something you can make work. If you’re uncomfortable with others holding your baby, consider wearing your baby carrier when you come in. If you feel more comfortable with certain family members, see if you can stick around them during the function.
5. Have a backup plan ready.
Boundaries are tricky because you can be as clear and direct as you want, but they still require others to respect them. If you end up in a situation where your family isn’t respecting your boundaries, it may be time for your backup plan. Think about how you would like to respond if someone violates your boundaries. Do you want to say something back? Take space? Leave? Review your options and decide what feels the most appropriate for you.
