I am not usually a go-with-the-flow type of person. I used to call myself Type A+. I recently organized my pantry and proudly shared photos of the results with friends, explaining it as the root of my week-long good mood.
Like many of the moms I counsel in my psychotherapy and coaching practice, I feel less anxious and generally better when things are appropriately labeled and put away.
I experience less stress when the house (and, in turn, my life) feels organized. I like order. It helps alleviate the overstimulation that so many of us mothers frequently feel.
But since becoming a mom more than eight years ago, I have been able to lean into a chiller side of my personality. I have learned not to sweat the small stuff. I still don’t enjoy chaos, but I can loosen up a little bit, be present, and appreciate (some) disorder. I feel privileged that I can help other women do this, too, help them feel better by letting go a little bit.
To be clear, I am not perfect at this (or anything else). I attempted to clean up my first grader’s dolls during my recent organizing spree. Picture a bunch of “Weird Barbies,” a character we all recognized in last year’s Barbie movie. My daughter tends to cut her Barbies’ hair, switch outfits, draw on them with nail polish and White-out, accessorize them with tape, and generally make a mess. My initial instinct was to remind her to take care of her things and to keep them tidy. And then I caught myself.
My daughter embraces Weird Barbie, and we should all do that, too. It’s her art. She proudly says, “I design clothes for my dolls,” and I am so proud of her. Order can be important, but creativity is perhaps more so. It’s a lesson I’ve learned from my kids: There can be beauty in disorder.
The kitchen will always need cleaning, and the to-do list will never get done. Our cabinets may not constantly look Instagram-ready, but does it really matter?
When we feel overwhelmed, remember what our kids inherently know: Sometimes, we need to play. Life can be beautiful that way.
