Mommy is going to have another baby! You are going to have a sibling! This time is so exciting for your father and me, but what about you? I know that you don’t fully understand what is happening, even though you excitedly look at the ultrasound pictures and exclaim, “BABY,” and you point to my growing belly and say the same.
You are my only and will be until one day you’re not. What will life be like then?
The truth is, I don’t know. I hear my heart will grow. I know you and your sibling will both hold pieces of it, too big to measure. I know there will be difficult times for everyone. Being an older sibling myself, I know you will have moments of jealousy. I promise I will be there for you in those moments. I know we will all experience moments of great joy. I’ll have moments where my heart will feel like it will burst from pride in watching what an amazing big brother you are. I have no doubt you will be the best big brother.
When you are no longer my only, I know I’ll have less time. But I promise that the time I do spend with you will be extra special. When you are no longer my only, I’m going to be extra tired (especially at first). I promise to spend those sleepy days giving you extra snuggles. When you are no longer my only, there will be days where I fail to find balance, no matter how hard I try. I hope you will forgive me.
There I days I worry about what will happen when you are no longer my only. You matter so much to me. I wonder whether we are doing the right thing for you. Logically I know we are, of course, but my emotions are a different story. I struggle with guilt that I won’t have as much time and energy for just you.
And then I remember how much you love your entire family. How gentle and kind you are with little things. How much you love your puppy and kitty sisters. The moment at the beach last summer where you heard a baby crying and refused to leave their side until you knew their mommy and daddy were around and taking care of them and their needs were met because the crying stopped. The day you saw your friend’s baby sibling at the playground and announced with glee that there was an adorable baby in our midst. You kept returning to those strollers to check in on those tiny humans, to make sure they were safe and happy.
Maybe I’m projecting the tough time I had when I became an older sibling onto you. But even if I’m not, today I am so grateful to have my little brother. And I know you’ll feel the same about your younger sibling. If not now, then at least later.
