It is unbelievably insane that this year is more than half over! The passage of time, especially as you get older, seems to go by faster and faster. I’ve reached a point where I have gratefully (and considerably) aged, but I still look forward to a fulfilling future while the hands of the clock are spinning at a warped speed.
Even though time is flying by, the thought continuously echoes in my head, “I’ll save this for later and catch up tomorrow.” I didn’t realize how much I was keeping things for later until I came across my saved posts on Facebook that I had been saving to read later.
I had even managed to name each file (how ridiculous!). And yet I didn’t take the few minutes to read them as I was aimlessly scrolling through my phone, whittling away an hour or so of my precious free time for something probably not worth reading.
Then it dawned on me that the older I get, the “better” I get at saving many useless items, such as my “in great shape” 30-year-old nursing bras that nobody wanted and my high school spiral notebooks. Although I can never scold myself for keeping and locating a precious keepsake from my distant past, like my grandmother’s set of antique coffee cups to my grandson’s first handmade birthday card.
I pride myself on keeping such items and firmly believe in upholding and passing on traditions and treasuring my past. It is uniquely mine. But after considering the downfalls of sometimes saving useless items, I realized that the most important thing worth saving are my feelings toward myself and my loved ones.
I want to be sure always to speak the truth and my mind. Sometimes it is much easier to express negative feelings than to express your love and appreciation for someone like your spouse. It seems to come more naturally and easily with your children and grandchildren.
I’m so satisfied and pleased that I’m making my family happy and comfortable, but I “save” the feeling, the words I am thinking but never verbally express to my loved ones, especially my spouse, because I’m exhausted. There’s always tomorrow to say I love you, but sometimes there isn’t.
