Freshman 15 refers to the theory that first-year college students gain around 15 pounds during their freshman year of college. Luckily my son avoided that. Unfortunately for me, those 15 pounds landed nicely on me!
Nevertheless, freshman year has come and gone. And although the amount of stuff he returned home with unused (toothpaste!) was slightly concerning, my son successfully finished his freshman year of college with his own Freshman 15.
Fifteen life skills are the foundation for his continued growth that will only be enhanced as he moves forward with his college and life journey.
1. Living on his own.
Prior to college, my son had no true experience living outside the four walls of our house. No sleepaway camp during the summers, he never shared a room, and he had very few sleepovers. Being away from the comforts of home was a whole new undertaking.
2. Managing his own schedule
He needs to rise and shine by himself. No mom and dad were present to make sure he got up, got ready, and got out the door to make a school bus. In fact – and rightly so – we had very little idea of his schedule as it was truly his own to manage.
3. Laundry.
I realize that as a teenager living under my roof, I probably should have tasked him with doing some laundry over the years. However, the past is the past. Thankfully we snuck in a few lessons before college started, and he was ready for laundry duty. A few snags along the way with broken machines, clothes stuck in a closed laundry room, and dryers that did not really dry, but he figured it all out.
4. Three meals a day (or close to it!).
The unlimited meal plan for freshmen on campus made it easy, but he still needed to “go” to the dining hall without being told, “Come down for dinner.”
5. Transportation.
Living in suburbia, my son rarely needed to tackle public transportation on his own. At school, he started to take city buses around town and arrange travel on Amtrak and bus routes home.
6. Sick days.
He had to take care of himself when he got sick. Getting sick away from home is THE worst. Sometimes I still want my mother when I’m sick! Yet, he managed with over-the-counter medication, COVID tests, and contacting the school health center if needed.
7. Handling the workload.
Sans the parent portal and sans the parents! He pulled his own weight on this one, which was a slight weakness in middle and high school.
8. Roommate woes.
Unfortunately, my son was one of those who didn’t wind up in an ideal roommate situation. Thankfully there were no fights nor disastrous incidents, but it was clear they were not fond of each other. There was angst and long phone calls, but he made it through.
9. Communication.
With Professors, Guidance Counselors, Resident Assistants, etc., self-advocacy during high school prepared my son, but it can be intimidating to approach a whole new slew of academia. However, he did it. He registered for his own classes, spoke with his RA about the roommate situation, and connected with professors about missing a class due to being sick. He even respectfully disagreed with a given grade.
10. Learning new resources.
It’s surreal to suddenly live in a new place and not know where to go for anything! Things that are second nature at home were brand new at school. But he learned “where to go for what,’ like picking up packages and the health center.
11. Finding quiet places.
Everyone needs privacy to study, read, or get away from it all. My son found his comfort places on campus where he could go to be alone or clear his head.
12. Independence.
My son was not the most independent child you’d meet. It’s been amazing to observe how much this has changed from the start of freshman year to the end of the year.
13. Openness.
I’ve always been impressed by how true my son is to himself, his likes and dislikes, and how he creates his own path. I love how he holds his own and will not give in to peer pressure for the life of him. In college, he learned to open his mind further and realize there is so much more to explore, navigate, and learn.
14. Packing up at the end of the year.
Considering much of the packing before college was done by yours truly, I’ll happily list this as an accomplishment!
15. All-around growth.
My son may not see this for himself, but there is a noticeable maturity! And it could be the way he carries himself more confidently, but he seems taller! Can an 18-year-old still grow?
Are any of these earthshattering in and of themselves? No, not really. The word synergy comes to mind; the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. It seems simple to others, but there’s a group of kids for which this “stuff” is brand new.
Was it all easy? Absolutely not. There were late-night calls, last-minute visits home, and last-minute visits to see him at school. We shared advice and recommendations of “Maybe you should do this,” but he’s the one who has to follow through. And he did.
Parent boards across social media are filled with posts about straight-A students going to their dream college with the perfect major and easily fitting in everywhere they go. While some of us wallflowers quietly wonder and worry, “How? Just how is my child going to do this?”
They will. There is an innate characteristic, possibly akin to the survival instinct, to “figure it out.” Maybe not everything, maybe not everyone, yet you can bet that your college student will grow in all possible ways and accomplish more than you can envision. I admit that I should have given my son more credit, but also more credit to myself too. As a parent, I provided more resources and lessons than I realize. And I bet you have too!
