I am not giving medical advice. This is just my experience as a mother.
As a young speech pathologist, I had no problem encouraging parents to have their children undergo ear tube surgery (tympanostomy) when deemed necessary by a doctor because it was the “best thing for them.” I have seen many of my clients completely thrive after having tubes put in their ears. Better hearing, fewer ear infections, articulation improvements, increased following directions, and many other benefits!
I was not yet a mother and had no idea how difficult such a decision was to make for a child until bringing my daughter to the doctor for her seventh ear infection. Our pediatrician turned to me and said, “I think she might need tubes.”
I remember the office visit as if it were yesterday, and it froze in place. I must have stared at her blankly because she repeated herself again, this time justifying the need: “I really think she’s hearing us as if she’s underwater, and she also is suffering from so many ear infections. This could potentially clear this up.”
A million thoughts ran through my head. “Could this be because I didn’t always make sure her ears were bundled up on all those cold winter days?” or “Maybe it’s because I sent her to daycare instead of being a stay-at-home mom? Could that have prevented this?” I knew that it was none of those reasons. I quickly tried to compose myself. I remembered all the times I had told parents that the “simple” surgery does wonders for children. I had seen the immense progress children made immediately after surgery.
Why was I so hesitant this time? Well, because I was never a mother. I never had to make difficult decisions for another human being, especially one I loved to the end of the earth. And it was then that I understood exactly what all of my client’s parents had gone through.
I quickly booked my daughter’s ear tube surgery with an ENT before I had the chance to “chicken out” or change my mind. I was afraid I would reason myself out of it (“Well, maybe it will get better on its own? Maybe if we just don’t swim this summer, the fluid will disappear?”). Who knows what other crazy things I could have concocted if given the time?
I was doing this for my daughter—for her speech and language development, hearing, and a chance to not be so sick all the time! Deep down, I knew she needed it.
I knew she didn’t always respond when I asked her questions or had to repeat myself several times before being understood. I knew the things the doctor was telling me were right, and it was time to heed my own advice.
We had to wait six weeks for the scheduled surgery, and you can bet I tortured myself every day with the questioning of making the right decision. I was a mess on the day of the surgery. I choked back tears multiple times on the way to the hospital so that she would see Mommy being brave.
My daughter didn’t seem scared but rather excited about the ice cream promised to her when it was all over (guys, she gets ice cream all the time?). A million things were racing through my mind: “Is this necessary? Will it even work like it did for the other kids?”
After saying my goodbyes to her and watching her go under, I walked to the waiting room and cried like a baby. I remember a woman who was also waiting coming up to me and asking if I was okay. “Yes,” I said, “I was just waiting for my daughter to have her ear tube surgery.” She patted my hand, stifled some laughter, and warmly said, “She’s going to be just fine, sweetheart.”
To this day, I wonder who and what she was waiting in there for. Perhaps it was something more severe, but I was so wrapped up in my feelings at the time that I never thought to ask her. If you are reading this today, kind hospital woman, I hope your loved one also had a successful surgery.
No more than ten minutes later (literally ten minutes!), her doctor came out smiling and said she was all done. I couldn’t believe how fast it had been. I remember the doctor hugging me and saying, “I told you, I do at least five of these daily!” All that torture and endless questioning was over. I was then able to see my daughter, who smiled first thing when she started to wake. She immediately asked us what kind of ice cream flavors they have, and calmness spread through me.
Although my daughter had been talking, she underwent what we speechies like to call a “verbal explosion.” She was speaking in sentences rather than short phrases; she no longer had sound distortions and gone were the days of me having to repeat myself repeatedly. She was happy, and that made Mommy happy! Since then (almost two and a half years ago), she has not had another ear infection (knock on wood…no, seriously, do it).
Now, when parents ask me about ear tube surgery, I am much more sympathetic and love the opportunity to share my daughter’s success story.
It opened my eyes to a parent’s internal struggle when faced with such critical medical decisions. I know that my account helps ease the minds of other concerned parents, and I am so happy to share it with others. Please look for any of the following signs and never hesitate to ask your pediatrician if your child has any of the following:
1. Ear infections (especially if they are frequent).
2. Pulling of the ears
3. Fluid leaking from the ear
4. Difficulty hearing
5. Hearing loss reported on a screening
6. Speech and language delay
I often look back, and it breaks my heart to think that my daughter may have struggled to hear us all that time, which leads me to encourage you to check your children’s hearing if you have any concerns. It’s always a good idea to get yearly hearing screenings to ensure your child hears appropriately!
