Kids are meant to be seen and not heard. This is an old saying we’ve all heard at some point, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. As every parent will attest, kids can be very vocal, especially regarding their wants and needs…but mostly their wants. And with that comes the crying game.
You can’t blame them because we would run to their side and tend to them from the moment they were born, no matter the age or reason.
However, now that our babies are no longer babies, they need to bid farewell to the crying game and open up the lines of communication. In my opinion, once a child enters kindergarten, they should begin using their words, especially when trying to get their attention.
Children are creatures of habit, but so are parents. I think it’s safe to say that as soon as we saw our little angels for the first time, we all vowed to be the best version of ourselves, including giving them the world. We may have viewed that sentiment as endearing and selfless at one time. However, retracting once your child gets a taste of the world can be challenging.
We want to see our kids happy and loathe being the bad guy. As a result, we feed into every desire, even if that means going against our better judgment.
It can be very easy to blame our children for our short tempers and moodiness, but the truth is that we may not have set boundaries from a very young age, and now we are paying the price.
Hearing our kids cry can be heartbreaking but let’s be honest, it can be irritating as well. I always prided myself on never giving in when my kids broke out the alligator tears, whether over a toy they just had to have or finishing their favorite show, even though bedtime had come and gone.
However, I am not too proud to say that I have fallen victim to the crying game on more than one occasion.
If you happen to be one of those parents who haven’t, I regret to inform you that it may not be today, tomorrow, or even next year, but you will eventually cave and exchange your boundaries for a moment or two of peace. The more children you have, the less patience you possess. The cost of peace is priceless, especially when your last nerve is about to snap and become a distant memory.
The scenario may differ, but the outcome is always the same. For example, whether it is on purpose or not, our kids seem to turn on the waterworks when we are in our most fragile state. The most common one is the supermarket, the breeding ground for tantrums. It usually comes out of nowhere, and no matter how strategic you are while planning your shopping route, it’s probable that you’ll find yourself in the cereal aisle with a rapid heartbeat and clenched teeth.
You tell your kids you will not buy another box of their sugar-loaded favorite until the one you have at home is finished. Still, nevertheless, you find yourself reluctantly throwing it into the cart after feeling defeated and conned by your little angels yet again. Some of us have cleverly used this tactic to swiftly move through our shopping list before discarding the item at check out (without them realizing it, of course).
Others stand in the aisle and argue while their child kicks, stomps, and screams at the top of their lungs. I commend you if you have never found yourself in this predicament. For those who are still too familiar with this scene, it’s time to make a change because this is the beginning of the end. You will feed the monster (no pun intended) and set yourself up for failure every time.
Another ongoing squabble often occurs at bedtime and can stress you beyond your limits and cause you to appease the tears, leaving you with over-tired children. This can be one of the easiest traps to fall into because while they are crying and begging to stay up and watch one more YouTube video, you are running out of energy and agreeing to their request for the sake of a quiet house.
Kids are very smart, and they know a few tears can go a long way, especially on a work or school night. They know that it is easier for us to grin and bear another 30 minutes than it is to spend our evening yelling and reading the same story six times before they finally dose off.
I don’t think a parent out there has never given in to their kids because they were having an atomic meltdown. We are human, and we know how far we can be pushed until the volcano inside of us erupts. You’ll have those days where you don’t have the energy to slay those dragons, and other days you’ll stand your ground better than Elsa and freeze out the noise.
Spoiling your kids and being a pushover is never the answer, but neither is being too hard on yourself to the point where you become physically sick trying to prove a point.
The takeaway is to pick your battles. Do what works for you, and remind yourself that we all slip up occasionally. No one is perfect, and a parent’s job is the hardest of them all. Tantrums and tears may drive you mad, but nothing lasts forever, and the storm will surely pass in time.
