My husband and I were strolling around the mall a week or so ago. Suddenly, we see a little boy, probably no older than two years old, running out of a store—a cute little blonde thing. Beautiful little fast blonde thing, I should say! He started running down the hall, and within seconds, we saw Mom booking out of the store to chase him down. As mom caught up to her son with a sweaty brow, I imagined the “mommy shamers” having a field day.
My reaction was to chuckle and think, “Yep. Been there!” Solidarity, mama.
The little boy was too adorable! Yet, I can honestly say that I do not miss those days. My children are 13 and 10, so I am far removed from the baby/toddler stages. Although the statement “bigger kids, bigger problems” is real enough, the more time goes on, the more I realize I’m ace with it. My son is heading to high school in the fall, and my daughter is heading into her last year in elementary school. It’s still somewhat surreal that I’m an older mom. I’m not necessarily speaking of my age, although that is a factor, but of the fact that my children are not babies anymore.
For all of you who dread the inevitable loss of the baby days, there are certainly some positive reasons to see them pass. So cute, so yummy, so squishy, but…Here are some reasons why I enjoy parenting “older” children. Trust me, moms! There’s much to look forward to.
Use Your Words
The ability to have conversations with my kids is a reality. Granted, as they get deeper into their teenage years, the grunting becomes more prevalent, but overall, they can use words! This is truly helpful in taking the guesswork out of the situation. With babies and toddlers, it’s like a game of charades that I never won. I loved it when people said, “Can’t you read their cries?” Me: “Um, no, I can’t. What’s wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? Can you read ‘my cries’ right now?”
Money
The cost of baby goods is astronomical! Cribs, diapers, wipes, formula, high chairs, bouncers, swings, bottles, diaper creams, pacifiers, crib sheets, car seats, baby monitors, strollers, breastfeeding supplies, etc. This isn’t even close to encompassing everything. Oh! And did I mention the batteries? Sometimes, I walk by the baby aisles in Target with a little too much glee!
Timing is Everything
How many times have you been almost ready to leave the house on time, only to have to change a diaper at the last minute? Or when you’re out and about and have to change a diaper in a teeny bathroom (some even without a changing table!). We’ve all been there, and obviously, it’s what we’ve signed up for, but it’s quite lovely not having to change a diaper at the least opportune times or places.
Trading Spaces
If you have even two exersaucer-type activity sets, there’s a good chance baby toys have already overtaken your house! Baby toys can take up so much space and don’t always match your décor. Most of the time, a baby/toddler gets bored with a toy in a hot minute, and they’re on to something else, which is completely normal due to sensory development and exploration. This results in your home resembling a colorful pigsty in a hot minute, too. As kids age, the toys get smaller, hold attention longer, and are easier to store.
Stop Growing!
My kids are still growing; however, compared to the growth of babies, it’s nothing! With babies and toddlers, the outgrowing of clothing is enough to make you temporarily insane. You are continually purchasing new clothes! Often, you’ll have a piece of clothing that your baby will only wear once before it’s too small. There will be outfits that you “save” for a special occasion. Unfortunately, once that occasion arrives, the outfit is too small. On a related note, older children do not typically need to be changed 25 times daily. Rarely do we have to be concerned about food, major dirt, or bodily functions on their clothing.
Solo Acts
This does not apply to all tasks and responsibilities, but big kids can do a lot independently. While they may need constant reminders to bathe or shower (and clean themselves in the bath or shower), they do this solo. They can feed themselves and even eat the same food as the rest of the family. There’s no need to cut up food into itty bitty pieces. My husband and I have even been reminded of what a hot meal tastes like, and it’s pretty awesome. They can choose their clothing in the morning. Sometimes, they emerge from their bedrooms with exciting choices, which offer independence and give you a sense of their style. Older kids can put themselves in the car and fasten their own seat belts. Even something as simple as applying sunscreen gets easier (this is an enormous win!).
Decision-Making
You no longer have to make every single little decision. Sometimes, older children need to be guided to make good choices, but they can/will make good decisions.
Becoming Me Again
As my children age, certain shifts enable “me” to be “me” again. You regain your sense of self. I’m allowed to sit in more than 30-second stints. Yes, I still hear “mom” often throughout the day, but I’ll admit there is some downtime with older children (at least while you are home)—the freedom to leave the house without a suitcase, “aka” diaper bag. No more formula, bottles, snacks, or jars of food to drag along. It’s liberating!
There is less angst about milestones. With babies and toddlers, there is constant concern about development. The days of attending birthday parties and play dates are behind me…drop-off! I can run a quick errand with the kids without worrying about a tantrum. Besides, sometimes, I can even run an errand alone. And we’re allowed to eat in restaurants again without feeling like everyone is watching us, waiting for us to leave, or hoping they are sitting far away!
See ladies? The days of realizing that you’re watching and singing along with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on television while your kid has been napping are in sight! All kidding aside, I know it’s a bittersweet feeling, but there’s amazingness coming your way!
Now, I’m not saying the stages you’re heading to are easy—teenage drama, high school woes, college applications, etc. There are lots to keep me on my toes, but learning and seeing who your kids are becoming is the most valuable thing in the world.
And when your children finally transition from watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to watching Andi Mack, please know that it’s perfectly acceptable to continue watching, even if the children have since exited the room. It’s a pretty good show.
I’m with you, my friend! All the constant detail of baby duty is not something I miss. Granted, my kid isn’t as independent as yours yet, being only 6 and quite attached, and his “smaller” toys are all over the whole house, but it’s so much better now! I love being able to have conversations with Ben, to hear his opinions, to watch him learn, explore, and grow. And go to the bathroom on his own! Childhood (as opposed to infancy) is a great time!
It’s amazing seeing who they are becoming – and how they’re getting there. I honestly look at them with awe every day…
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