I make a lot of mistakes, and one of my daughters, ever so kindly, brought a few of my mistakes to my attention last night.
She feels a disconnect and wants our relationship to repair quickly, so we can go back to our fun-loving relationship, not the one lately, which is filled with dirt, grime, and all things pulling us down.
But to resolve and restore us, we need to dig deep, lay it all out there and get right down to the ugly parts.
Yuck. I hate those deep-rooted ugly parts that often need to be dug out from the depths to see the light, but we had to buckle up and get to digging.
We dug, and we dug some more.
Friends, some parts may have been hard to digest and swallow, I admit, but it’s exactly what my ears needed to hear.
I will make mistakes, and I will continue to mess up today, tomorrow, and many days to come. I am human, and I have to be okay with mistakes.
But I can’t be complacent when my daughter reaches out to talk openly about a few things that need to change. I also can’t help but remind her that I’m human.
I don’t mean not to lift my head from my phone these past few months. I listen to every word, but I am also engrossed in writing my heart out while also trying to relieve some of this awful boredom by watching pointless videos and scrolling endlessly. I am human.
I don’t mean to nit-pick at every little thing, but sometimes I simply can’t take the messy room, not lending a helping hand and the way everything is left until the last minute. It makes me feel a bit off-balanced and downright uncomfortable. I am human.
I will make a bunch of errors. I will have a lack of patience at times. And sometimes, I may even lack engagement. But I’m trying.
I try to provide a home filled with love and compassion while offering support and comfort.
I try to laugh (big belly laughs) each day, but that has been a bit hard lately.
I try to love harder every day, knowing my flaws but recognizing each mistake is backed up with an insurmountable amount of love.
So yeah, I have been making many mistakes lately, but I’m learning. I’m human.
Who knew, even after being a mom for eighteen years, I would still truly not know what I’m doing. That handbook on motherhood? Nope, it still doesn’t exist. So I will continue to make mistakes as I navigate being a mom.
But each night, as I collapse onto my bed, even on the hardest of days, my heart is full knowing these four things.
Our home is filled with:
Grace
Love
Forgiveness and
Optimism.
Mistakes are forgiven with grace, and digging up the ugly, only lends way to the light.
A light that can always be found, even in the darkest of times. Sometimes we need a gentle nudge letting us know we have not been ourselves, to own our mistakes, move forward, and get back to the light.
