Every year many of us impatiently look forward to the start of spring, especially after a very long winter. Certainly this year is no exception. Crazy as it seems, I’m always a little sad to see winter go. After so many years of feeling this way, I realized that the coming of spring is what makes me feel uncomfortable, not the end of the winter. This year it even has me feeling a bit anxious.
Granted the days are longer and the sun is warmer. Nature re-awakens and so do my doubts and deep thoughts. And that’s not a bad thing. I finally realized this year that I’m getting in touch with myself and what really matters in my life. Since my thing has always been words, and naturally that’s why I studied accounting in college (haha!), I’ve often relied on old sayings I’ve cataloged in my head to explain the craziness of being a wife and mother in this day and age.
One of my faves has to be, “Take it one day at a time.” As my kids have grown up, it’s more like take a few hours at a time. At 7:00 a.m. my teenage daughter might not utter a syllable in the car on the way to school, but by 10:00 p.m. she will say, “Are you sleeping? Wanted to ask you something. We never get a chance to talk.” So I jerk myself up in the living room recliner to only a partial catatonic state, because I really wasn’t awake, and mumble back, “Sure, what is it?” But despite it all, we do manage to have a nice little exchange of words.
One of my cardinal rules is to try my best not to ignore my kids when they are seeking my attention, or at least not more than twice a month! Attention to the teenager or the adult 30 year old son seeking advice is more important than you think, so I try my best to reply. Daily life is on the fast track. At work, during my lunch hour, I mentally prepare dinner for my husband and daughter, but by 5:30 p.m. my two sons and their girlfriends are joining us too, so now it’s a cooking/take-out combo, which brings us all to the table and we enjoy each others’ company. That’s all that really counts anyway.
Next on my list is, “You can’t please everyone all the time.” But guess what? At least 3/4’s of the time you probably do, so leave well enough alone. Granted once in a while I explode and my husband looks terrified because he doesn’t know where to look for clean work clothes. But most often my family is pretty content and comfortable courtesy of yours truly. I find it pretty satisfying making my daughter happy cooking her favorite meal or babysitting my grandson even if we spend half the day outside getting our fill of muddy clothes and shoes. It’s such a precious time spent with my toddler that adores his grandma. At the same time I’m helping my daughter so she can work.
I only interject here that a “me” treat is necessary for the weary, self-sacrificing mom, every couple days at the very least. Personally, I just love to get lost in a mindless 90’s comedy every weekend with no interruptions, hopefully. It’s almost cathartic, but so would taking up yoga or joining the gym, but the “lazy me” needs this more right now. All moms have a favorite past time, so just go for it when you can sneak it in.
There’s one saying that we have been preached to about and now, as parents, we preach to our kids. “Appreciate what you have, because you never know….” And after decades of feeling guilty for not really embracing this notion, I’ve decided to finally let it go. It takes too much energy to fight with human nature. I live each day to the fullest and hope for the best. I’m 100% certain that the good AND bad times will come to pass, whether or not being grateful was your thing.
And lastly, my absolutely favorite saying, simply put and universally understood is, “We all live in the same world.” Patience and tolerance do take a plunge as you age, but thankfully empathy replaces all that. A kind word or gesture to a friend or family member is more appreciated than anything else, material gifts included, ALWAYS! Putting myself in someones else’s shoes, like my own kids, is still a struggle. Generation gap aside, I really try to understand their point of view, about working, child-rearing, career choices, unwarranted anxiety, defiance…the list goes on and on.
Ahh! Feels so good to dust off, polish and maintain my inner thoughts. This makes for a squeaky clean heart and soul. It’s the most important step in welcoming spring! Happy springtime everyone, especially my fellow soulmate moms.
