How Do I Only Have Twelve Days Left?


 A mom holding her teenage daughter's face because there are only twelve days left.Twelve days.

Twelve days left wondering if I have done enough.

Twelve days left, questioning if she will leave fully prepared and not forget to listen to the little whispers floating in the air.

Twelve days left pondering the challenging moments and if we have moved past them enough for a solid bond to move us forward.

Twelve days left, reflecting on the moments which fill my heart. Recalling her giggle as I pushed her higher and higher on the swing, her squeal of excitement as training wheels came off and independence set in, and the moments she met her lifelong best friends that became sisters.

Twelve days left scurrying about attempting to fill voids left open.

These voids keep me up at night in a panic and sweat. The voids haunt me. How can there be voids? 

Twelve days left tucking her in at night as I have done every evening for 6,687 days.

Twelve days left lingering over dishes, sitting at our usual spots around the dinner table until a spot is empty, waiting for her return in November. 

Twelve days left loving every little bit of her.

Loving her.

Holding her.

Laughing with her.

Smiling at her.

Wondering with her.

Twelve days left.

Twelve days left, loving her presence near me, knowing she is here, at home.

But soon, her new home will embrace her each night and give her silent tuck-ins.

Her new home will listen to her secrets over the dinner dishes, surrounded by love.

Her new home will fill voids she never even knew existed and learn over and over again about the woman she is becoming.

Her new home will have plenty of time for silent reflection as her mind opens up to all the firsts she will encounter.

Her new home will be open to wondering and pondering all her questions about life, love, the past, the present, and the future.

But may she never question our love.

May our love withstand miles, the hard times, and good times.

May our love and sweet memories continue to fill our souls. 

May our love forever remain connected, never wavering. 

May our love simply be, without words.

Just love.

Twelve days left to pass out more love and soak every moment in. 

But this heart of mine knows one thing. The last 6,687 days have flown by.

Twelve days left, and then it’s her turn to fly as I continue to love her. A lifetime full of love.

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Ali Flynn
Ali lives in New York with her four teenage daughters and her husband. After moving around a bit as a child, she spent her teen years in Westchester county, moved to NYC for college and returned to Westchester fifteen years ago. Prior to having the girls, she was an English teacher, and on the side always enjoyed writing with the hope to one day publish a poetry book. In her free time, Ali enjoys going on long runs, browsing independent bookstores, catching up with friends. She is in a constant state of doing laundry, cooking, policing arguments, driving to and from activities, and trying her best to be the kind of mom her girls will admire, even on her worst days. Ali is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart. You can follow Ali on Facebook at and on Instagram at