With a tearful smile, I fondly recall your little hand holding mine, ever so tightly, while skipping down the street singing songs.
Memories have been popping up lately, and as the movie reel of life keeps rolling, a smile takes over my heart as I exhale.
The movie reel keeps spinning around and around, whether I press play or not, often causing me to become speechless, knowing these are moments I can’t get back. They continue to move forward.
It never stops and only allows me to pause now and then, no matter how many times I try to stop time.
As a mom, sometimes I’m on my knees wishing for days to rapidly fast forward or to get through a certain phase, but other days I’m grasping frantically for the rewind button to stop time and soak it all in.
But I can’t stop life from happening and growing around me.
Rather I need to embrace it and allow myself to feel it. Feel it. Really feel it and embrace it all.
So lately, I feel emotions through a tearful smile…
As I reflect, pride takes over at the memory of struggling through torturous reading comprehension activities but remaining confident.
As I reflect, joy embraces me at the memory of persevering through middle school and navigating the days which overflowed with insecurities and those awkward moments of self-doubt.
As I reflect, strength surrounds me and reminds me of how the softball team didn’t work out as planned, but practice and perseverance led to a starting position the following year.
As I reflect, happiness consumes my heart, as I recall many accolades of praise about a kind heart and a desire to help others.
My tearful smile is deep-rooted in love.
My tearful smile is pure amazement at how challenges are tackled, head-on, with grace.
My tearful smile reflects my pride for who you are and all you are bound to become.
So as I gently wipe away my tears of joy. I believe for a moment that the movie reel has paused.
I can still feel your five-year-old hand, entwined in mine, swinging through the air.
But as the movie reel keeps playing, what I truly feel is the warmth of a woman holding my hand, who reflects the inner strength, confidence, and copious amounts of love.
