You wake up. You get the kids up for school, pack lunches, and write a note for them to find in the middle of the day so they know you love them. You remember to send in extra tissue boxes the teacher requested for the class (even though you are sure you sent in eight at the beginning of the year as requested).
You get out of the house to get them to school on time, even though your daughter had to poop right as you were about to leave, which took an extra seven minutes that you did not have.
You go to work late. Work, work, work, pick-ups done, activities done, cook a nutrient-dense dinner that your kids don’t to eat, baths, pajamas, brush teeth, bedtime stories, three glasses of water for the kid that won’t sleep, another bedtime story, cuddles, words of affirmation, kisses. Done.
You did it, Supermom. For your reward, you get that big ol’ glass of wine that you will sip while cleaning the dishes and get ready to do it all again tomorrow.
If you are one of those supermoms who can limit it to just one glass, I applaud you. If you’re me, that one glass stopped doing the trick two kids ago. Maybe it wasn’t full-blown alcoholism, but it was too much. I needed a change.
Alcohol abuse has increased in the entire population, with the highest spike in women since the COVID-19 pandemic. “Mommy-Wine Culture,” or drinking to cope with the stress of parenting, has paved the way to give those of us that have who tend to overindulge a free pass on “Moms’ Night Out” or every night of the week for that matter.
The relaxing effects of alcohol are not what they seem. While in the short term, alcohol can have a euphoric effect, a cap to the end of the day that we all need. However, alcohol leads to an increase in anxiety during times of withdrawal (i.e., the next day when it is out of your system). The resources we have been using all these years to relax can start having the opposite effect on our brains and bodies, making us worse, not better.
Is there anything better than getting together with our fellow moms and unwinding over glasses over Cabernet and Chardonnay? Yes. Real connection. Healthy habits. We can get credit for being a supermom without the wine.
Connection with our friends is what we desperately need to get through “momming” in modern times. Luckily, replacing dinner and drinks with a productive activity is not so hard. The first step is telling your mom tribe, “I’m going dry this month. Can we vent during a walk on Saturday morning?”
I promise the more you identify that you are looking to decrease your alcohol consumption, the more moms will gravitate to you and join. We all need to remember there are other ways to cope with the very real stress.
When I started hinting to my favorite mom friends over dinner that my drinking was becoming a problem, one of them immediately jumped on the dry bandwagon with me. I didn’t need to know the details of how much she was drinking, or why, or how often. We both talked about decreasing our alcohol consumption openly in front of others.
We would talk with our mom group chat that we tried a nutritional supplement marketed to decrease alcohol consumption but imitate the effects of a glass of wine at the end of the night. We both started working out more and used the desire to be healthier and consume fewer calories as a reason to be dry for another month.
I got my much-needed time alone with other moms, discussing how we deal with doing it all over cups of herbal tea in my kitchen, and I love that everyone admires my chic matte white tea kettle and tea collection.
