Play dates. You either love them or hate them, but they are a necessity when it comes to socializing your child. They are even more important nowadays since post-COVID home-schooling has become more popular.
Socialization is one of the most important factors when raising children. Interaction with other kids should be a priority whether your kids have siblings or are only children. Children learn how to co-exist and express their individuality through peer interactions.
Unfamiliar situations and environments are necessary to build confidence and resilience. That being said, what better way to introduce those things than through play dates? Many parents view these small get-togethers as fun and cute. However, play dates can also take a turn for the worse and bring feelings of anxiety and irritability to the surface.
Everyone handles situations in their own way, and as parents, we must be aware of how much we take on and in what capacity. Having kids is wonderful, but it can also be stressful and overwhelming. Throw other kiddos into the mix, and it’s surely a recipe for a parenting paradigm.
Kids have a lot of energy, and with it comes yelling, laughing, singing, and crying; some may even happen simultaneously! It’s a mixed bag, and we never know what will come out of our children’s mouths and to what extent. Parenting is not easy; at the end of the day, we are human and lose our patience. However, we are pros at diffusing situations and reeling our own emotions back in, and within seconds we’re back in the game.
Play dates, on the other hand, may bring a whole new set of emotions and triggers that you may not have even known you had inside of you. It all begins when you hear that knock on the door or ding of the bell. Like an old-school game show, you never know what awaits you on the other side of the door. As parents, I’m sure we can recall at least one play date that felt like a never-ending horror movie.
Typically, these scenarios begin with your child’s playmate charging through the door and making their way into the living room with muddy sneakers and not even so much as a “hello.” If you are on the “no shoes in the house” team, your blood will boil immediately. However, you do your best to overlook it, remind yourself they are just kids, and let it go.
As the day goes on, you may have already closed the back door at least ten times after they have run in and out from the backyard, picked up the same throw pillows off the floor from the infamous jump on the couch bit, and have said the words “no running in the house” so much that it deserves to be patented.
By this point, you may also find yourself glancing at the clock more than usual, counting down the hours until the chaos dissipates so that you can return to your daily routine. Clock-watching is one of the worst things a parent can do during a play date. Not only can it bring about anxiety, but it is also an “in your face” trigger that reminds you that your child’s play date is far from over. A watched pot never boils, so it’s best to let the time go by without acknowledging it.
Another thing to keep in mind is safety. Not only are we responsible for our children, but it is our duty to ensure their playmate is safe and content. This may sound easy, but not regarding overall health or food allergies. Perhaps your child’s friend has an underlying medical issue that prevents them from participating in certain activities. Our guard must always be up because their health is in our hands, and this is nothing to take lightly.
Nevertheless, food allergies should be at the top of the list when hosting a play date. It is possible (and I speak from personal experience) for the parent to forget to mention their child has food allergies or even present you with an Epi-Pen, when dropping off their little one due to a screaming baby and a toddler pulling on their leg. The play date can easily go from good to horrendous by forgetting to double-check these vital details.
The choice of activities is one of those things that can make or break the day as well. Video games are a favorite amongst kids, but a fun game of Mario Party can take a nosedive when one of the two players is a sore loser. You’ll surely hear a controller hit the wall or a screaming match break out over who won the game. This may even end with your kiddo and their friend sitting on opposite ends of the couch, refusing to speak. By this point, you probably think a trip to the playground or movie theatre would have been a better choice, but there is no turning back now. Giving your little ones a nice afternoon away from the monotony can be frustrating, only to find yourself stressed and overwhelmed because things didn’t pan out the way you expected.
Play dates don’t have to be this way. There are a few ways to prevent drama and keep the peace.
Try replacing video games with fun board games like Jenga or Sorry. Sure, board games will likely never measure up to Fortnite, but at least they can provide a calm experience. The tried-and-true classic hide-and-seek can not only bring a dose of zen to them but can bring a smile to your face as well. During the countdown, get your favorite book out or brew yourself some coffee because this can be your one chance for a much-needed break – take advantage!
Movies are a no-brainer when creating a low-key vibe or simply passing the time. Allow your child’s friend to select their top three choices from Netflix, present the pair a tray filled with their favorite snacks (don’t forget to include healthy items such as fruit or carrot sticks), and sneak away to catch up on some laundry or scroll through your favorite social media platform.
The opportunities are endless! Before you know it, the doorbell will ring, and you’ve made it through yet another play date without screaming into a pillow or counting to ten to calm your nerves after a mini meltdown. Be prepared for a few tears while their pal departs, and be sure to have a little treat handy as a distraction if things get a little too crazy.
Parenting is one of the most challenging things you will ever do. Pat yourself on the back to remind yourself that you do all you can to keep your little ones happy! Sure, things can get annoying and a little chaotic now and then. Scrubbing a grape juice stain out of the couch or finding gum stuck to your favorite throw blanket can drive you up the wall, but the good outweighs the bad.
