Veteran’s Day hadn’t meant much to me growing up until my own father, who served in the United States Army (Vietnam), passed away in 1995. When I began recognizing and honoring this day on Facebook, many of my cousins shared how my father inspired them to join the military.
It was heartwarming to know that so many followed in his footsteps. I wonder if he knew while living, the positive impact he had on them. He certainly had influenced me to do so when I was a teenager, but I was reluctant to leave my child with my parents. It was important for me to be present in her life, especially since her father was not.
My dad was born on the island of Puerto Rico. His parents separated when he was young, forcing his mother to leave with him and his two brothers. I truly believe that growing up on the mainland and joining the army ignited his patriotism towards the United States of America.
He enjoyed learning, reading, and sharing information about our nation’s history. He often claimed America was the best country in the world. Even after following his brother into a foreign war and being the only survivor, he never spoke ill of our country’s government. I’m sure it pained him what happened during his time of service and the treatment he received upon returning. He often wore army-green fatigues during parades to be easily identified by others like him who had chosen to dedicate and sacrifice their lives.
Decades later, my twin children, born two years after his passing in 1997, enlisted in the United States Air Force. While in high school, my daughter sampled the R.O.T.C. program, although she aspired for a career in teaching and psychology. My son committed to the football team, aspired to study physical therapy, and dreamt of joining the United States Marines, but reconsidered because of my fears.
After a year at SUNY Cortland, my son enlisted in the Air Force and was stationed in Alaska, where he served for 4 years. When his term was finished, he continued his studies in Texas, graduated with a bachelor’s degree in business, and was contracted to work overseas in the Middle East with the US Military before being accepted into the Marine Corps. It was a vigorous training program, especially since he was older than most recruits. He graduated (November 2023) at the age of twenty-six, as Second Lieutenant, and works in finance while stationed in paradise (Hawaii).
Shortly after my son entered Air Force training, his twin sister followed. Their story strongly resembled the one my father shared with his older brother, who was drafted for the Vietnam War. The twins, however, were older than my father and uncle, who were only teenagers when they were sent to war.
After boot camp, my daughter was assigned to Arizona, where she met her husband. The two quickly married, had their first child, and were sent to South Korea. Upon returning from their first tour, they were stationed in Georgia, where they have remained, expanding their family and building their future together. Earlier this year, my daughter retired from the military after serving six years. Her husband remains active. They have three homes, two of which are owned and managed by them as rental properties to military members.
Initially, wanting to reinstate my father’s dishonorable discharge, I became inquisitive about his time spent in Vietnam and hoped to find information on the brother he fathered while there. To understand and have all the pieces of the puzzle, I needed to obtain my uncle’s military records as well. Having these records provided me with a profound healing that I didn’t realize was needed.
For many years, I mourned the death of my father. The desire to memorialize him led me to find ways to honor him whenever possible. Visiting his grave brought very little solace, as I knew his spirit was not there. Decorating and maintaining his headstone to bring awareness of the man he was to visitors of those who lay next to him and passersby. Having my children accompany me during my visits to the cemetery allowed me to share stories, keeping his memory alive.
The military records, which I read with an open heart and open mind, profoundly changed my perception of my dad. He was only seventeen when he decided to change his legal name to not match his older brother’s. My uncle was married and living with his wife when the government pulled his name from the draft lottery. My uncle had worked for “El Dario,” a Spanish-language newspaper published in NYC. He was laid to rest at Long Island National Cemetery. He had no children. His mother was named as the next of kin.
Both brothers worked together in the mortuary. Shortly after their arrival, my uncle died while a passenger in a military vehicle that was ambushed. Distraught by the incident, my dad was moved to work in the electrical division. His supervisor provided strong recommendations and suggested the job change in lieu of the situation. My dad got into trouble and was penalized for not reporting to work and for not wearing a helmet while riding a motorcycle, as required by local law. Sometimes he would not return to base. These actions would be the result of his dishonorable discharge a year and a half after his brother’s untimely death.
I am proud to be part of a family with many members, both past and present, who have served in all branches of the United States Military (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines). We must recognize those who have chosen to serve our country. They chose to defend us all and provide aid to our allies.
We are the most powerful and influential country in the world. We can be at peace knowing that we have a military protecting our borders and defenses from every angle around the clock, who are called upon when natural disasters occur, and other issues that disrupt our freedoms and peace, every single day of the year. It is a privilege that so many young men and women choose a military career, including the Coast Guard and Space Force, to protect their people.
This Veteran’s Day, donate or volunteer to your local Salvation Army, V.F.W. (Veterans of Foreign Wars), and VA (Veterans Affairs) Hospital. In solidarity, display the American Flag at your home, office, and car. Attend a local parade. Visit The Intrepid Museum, West Point Museum, Museum of American Armor, New York State Military Museum, American Merchant Marine Museum, and American Airpower Museum.
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