Let’s discuss money, honey. Girls just wanna have funds.
I know it can be awkward to talk about finances with friends or family, even though we often see reflections of wealth in Westchester. But it’s important to chat cash, especially with the fellow females in our lives.
Women in the United States are still not paid as much as men, even for the same work. Women of color experience even higher (and more harmful) wage gaps compared to their white non-Hispanic male counterparts. Pay inequity is due to many reasons, including that boys and girls are still socialized to enter certain professional fields (some higher-paying than others), that women still bear the brunt of the majority of caregiving and domestic work (which is unpaid), and that women still too often get discriminated against at work for becoming parents, or for suffering from menopause symptoms, or for simply being a woman.
The gender pay gap isn’t expected to close until 2088. As a woman and mother of a daughter, I am not okay with this. I hope you aren’t either.
In many ways, women deserve equal opportunities, and financial equity begins with us as moms. However, I am admittedly more qualitative than quantitative. So, I asked my friend Rachel Lemberg, CFA, a Scarsdale mom of two who has worked in the financial industry for over 25 years, for some tips.
1. Treat everyone equally when discussing money and math, regardless of gender.
Fortunately (and finally), we see more workplace policies and legislation requiring salary transparency, which helps reduce gender wage gaps. We must ensure we approach all financial conversations and interactions openly and thoughtfully. That often begins at home, even in subtle ways.
For example, I still know people who will give a young man a gift for an important life celebration (Bar Mitzvah, graduation) in the form of money or stocks, yet would gift a young woman for the same celebration by giving a more tangible present. While either option is generous, the assumption that males are more interested in money inherently creates inequity (and gives a boy more exposure to managing money at a young age than his sister). We have to treat all kids fairly regarding giving, earning, or even just talking about money.
Rachel suggests many accessible ways to talk about money with your children. “In our house, we use an app to help teach the kids about money. It helps parents assign and track their tasks to earn an allowance,” she shares. “What I like about it is that it also allows them to save towards something they want or donate a portion to charity. It’s a great way to introduce the concepts of earning, saving, donating, and spending in a hands-on way.”
Rachel and I both have a son and a daughter, and we ensure we discuss money with each other in the same way to the extent possible (depending on their ages and interests). For example, my husband and I opened a bank account for and with each of my children, which they use to keep track of Tooth Fairy gifts and earnings from chores. Rachel makes it a point with her kids to incorporate math into real-world situations and find games that support financial concepts.
While she acknowledges her son has a stronger natural inclination for math, she can teach and talk to her daughter about finances in the context of relatable topics. “I’m conscious that I need to find creative and frequent ways for my daughter to get involved in discussions around math and finance, especially given the historical bias in the industry,” she says. “One approach I’m taking is connecting it to her love of fashion. She’s really into the latest trends, but that, of course, can be an expensive habit, so I use her interest as an opportunity to set chore goals, set budgets, talk about costs, and emphasize the importance of finding a career that can support those interests in the long run.”
2. Encourage your girls to explore STEM.
Men still vastly outnumber women in science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) fields, among the fastest-growing and highest-paid fields. We must support our girls in learning math and science early on. “Deciding what you want to be professionally when you grow up often depends on what you’re exposed to as a kid,” Rachel reflects. Although she was naturally analytical as a child, she recognizes that anyone can gain the skills necessary to pursue a career in finance.
STEM professions will remain male-dominated until women get the seats at the table they deserve, so please keep at it. “I can’t count how many times I’ve been the only woman in a room full of men throughout my career,” Rachel tells me. “Thankfully, that’s been changing over the last couple of decades. We’re seeing more women entering finance and staying in it, which is huge.
A lot of this shift comes from clients pushing for more diverse perspectives and firms responding by focusing on hiring and retaining women. Another significant factor is the shift to flexible and hybrid remote work, which has been a game-changer for many working moms in the industry.” Indeed, I work with many high-achieving women through my counseling practice to help them advocate for flexible schedules or remote work and boundaries around work/life balance.
It’s important that women in STEM (and all industries) have support and community as they navigate their careers. Rachel and I both value networking and have collaborated on hosting local events. Regarding careers in finance, Rachel advises: “I always tell people to find ways to connect informally with as many people as you can across different finance roles.
The industry offers such a wide range of opportunities, and getting that early exposure to what’s out there can really help you figure out your path.” And remember that even if it feels lonely to be one of the few women in the room, you are not alone. Rachel muses: “Has it been challenging? Yes. But I think the more important point I focus on is whether it is rewarding to overcome challenges – and that answer is definitely yes!”
3. Keep learning.
Even if they aren’t obvious, women and girls have countless opportunities to become financially literate. To kids, Rachel suggests: “Collect your allowance and open a children’s brokerage account (with your parent’s permission!) to start trading in the market. This helps you focus on watching the stock market and reading about company news and some statistics to familiarize you with the language.”
To parents who want to incorporate more math and finances in everyday life, Rachel shares that one of her family’s favorite board games is Cash Flow, created by Robert Kiyosaki, the author of Rich Dad Poor Dad. Players learn to make good financial decisions by trying to escape the “rat race” by earning a paycheck, investing, paying bills, and dealing with unexpected expenses. She has also created some of her own games she plays with her kids, which are relatable and accessible even in car rides:
- Game for Owning a Business: Let’s say you bought a pair of sunglasses for $10 (your cost) and then you sold them for $20 (your revenue). To find your profit margin, you subtract your cost from your revenue: $20 – $10 = $10 profit. So, your profit margin is $10 out of the $20 you made, or 50%. This means you keep half of what you earn as profit!
- Game for Shorting a Stock: Imagine you borrow a pair of $20 sunglasses from a friend (this is like borrowing stock), then sell them to someone else for $20 (selling into the market). You have $20 now, but you still owe your friend their glasses! Next, let’s say the sunglasses go on sale for $10, so you buy them back (this is called covering the short). Now, you spent $10 to buy the glasses, but you sold them for $20 earlier, so you made a profit of $10! You can now give your friend their sunglasses back and keep the $10 you earned.
- Game for Having a Pizza Party: If each pizza has eight slices and you have four friends who each want four slices, how many pizzas do you need to order? You’d do the math like this: 4 friends x 4 slices each = 16 slices needed. Since each pizza has eight slices, you’d need two pizzas!
You can always keep learning. The Scarsdale Adult School, for example, offers programs on topics like financial planning in retirement. Platforms like Ellevest provide investing, planning, and wealth management guidance specifically to women (and offer free insights with financial advice on women’s wealth through its newsletter). Whatever stage of motherhood we may be in, we owe it to ourselves to get smart about money.
