When it comes to screen time, I know I’m going against the grain. While other parents are setting timers, taking away devices at night, or putting strict limits in place, I don’t. My kids have full access to their phones and tablets (even in their bedrooms). And guess what? I’m not losing sleep over it.
Before you picture my kids as zombies glued to Snapchat 24/7, let me explain.
My kids are busy. Between school, sports, and activities, my kids barely have a moment to sit still. They’re juggling homework, practices, games, and social lives. If they want to relax by scrolling Instagram or playing a game before bed, I’m okay with that. They need downtime, just like I do.
I have high expectations for my kids in all areas of life (academics, sports, behavior), and I trust them to meet those expectations. Part of that trust means letting them learn how to manage their own screen time. If I micromanage every second, what happens when they’re off at college without me hovering? Will they binge on freedom and completely lose balance? Or will they continue the habits they’ve built now, where phones are just part of life, not some forbidden item?
I really believe that the more you restrict something, the more kids crave it.
For me, it’s important that screens aren’t viewed as “the enemy,” but rather just one part of their world. My kids know how to put the phone down when they need to study, show up to practice, or sit at the dinner table. They’re learning responsibility, not sneaking around to get their fix.
Even if I had the strictest rules in my house, I can’t control what my kids see on the school bus or at a friend’s house. Pretending that I can shield them completely feels unrealistic. That’s why my kids know I check their phones, and if I ever find something inappropriate, we have a serious conversation about it. My husband and I have worked hard to create a space where they feel comfortable asking questions and sharing openly, instead of feeling embarrassed or hiding what they’ve seen. For me, it’s not about catching them, it’s about teaching them to navigate screens responsibly, to think critically about what they encounter, and to understand that not everything on the internet is real.
And yes, I’m on my phone a lot too.
I work online, and I’ll admit it, I get caught scrolling Instagram just like anyone else. Sometimes it’s work, sometimes it’s a break, sometimes it’s just mindless scrolling. Isn’t that the same for all of us? Modeling balance, not perfection, feels more honest.
With schools in Westchester County and beyond debating whether or not devices should even be allowed during the school day, I know this opinion isn’t popular.
But here’s my question: are we actually preparing kids for the real world when we take away their phones? Or are we just postponing the moment they’ll have to figure it out for themselves?
For me, parenting isn’t about controlling every move my kids make. It’s about giving them the tools and the trust to learn how to manage life on their own. Screens are part of life. I’d rather they learn balance now, at home, than stumble through it later.
. And guess what? I’m not losing sleep over it.){kind=link}