It was 3 a.m., and I was awake. My thoughts were racing.
Whether it was day or night, I was constantly making decisions for my family and, more recently, for myself, coming back full circle. A little back story…
For a long time, I found my identity in my career. I would find myself saying my name and occupation in the same sentence when introducing myself to people. How I would refer to my students as “my kids.” How much I loved being a mother and a teacher until I got burnt out.
I taught at an elementary school in East Harlem for eight years before taking a break to focus on my family. My daughter was four at the time; I was 20 weeks pregnant, and we had just bought a house in Westchester County. I knew I couldn’t commute to the city with two small kids. I knew I needed time and that my life was about to change.
I thoroughly enjoyed my time at home with my children. I loved taking my daughter to preschool and didn’t miss the days of rushing to catch the subway. I loved knowing I could be home with my son until I felt ready to return to work if I wanted to. There was no worry about when my maternity leave would end.
However, transitioning from a two-income to a one-income family was a challenging adjustment. I ended up taking a part-time job at my father’s company, which allowed me to bring my son to the office with me while my daughter was at school.
It was a great work-life balance, but part of me missed my students and my coworkers, and I felt like my identity took a hit. Yes, I was a mother and wife, but I missed my career — and my paycheck!
When I became pregnant with my third child, I knew I would continue to stay home, but I promised myself that I would return to work once he started kindergarten. I am happy to say that I wound up going back a bit earlier but in a different capacity that worked best for myself and my family.
I eased in. I started part-time as a teacher’s assistant while he was still in a three-year class, and then this year, I worked full-time as a teacher’s assistant in the pre-K program where he attends school.
I feel beyond lucky to see both my boys every day while I’m at work. It fulfills both the mom and teacher in me! I wound up loving pre-K so much that I decided to get an extension on my Master’s Degree so that I could be a head teacher in September. After teaching elementary school for so long, I never thought I would love pre-K so much.
I drew on all my experience from the lower grades and tweaked what had worked, and it turned out to be a perfect fit! I ended up re-enrolling at Pace University to take my two additional classes, from which I graduated with my graduate degree in 2005.
Twenty-five years later, I have come full circle. I am back in the same spot, just this time with three kids at home!
I am so excited to have my own class this fall! I feel like I finally found myself again. I have found a job that not only allows me to be present as a mom but also sets me up for success. I have a supportive workplace, a great work-life balance that I never had before, and overall happiness. I’m eager to share that happiness with my new students.
As for the night, I woke up at 3 a.m…well, it was almost like an epiphany. I knew what I was meant to do. I was meant to find myself again, and the answer had been in front of me for a while. I knew it was right because when I finally embraced it, I felt peace.
From raising a family to finding yourself again and taking care of yourself, we can do it and come back full circle. Breathe, it will all work out. Even if it takes almost a decade to figure it out, we got this!
