In an interview I recently gave for a podcast to promote my forthcoming book, Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life’s Next Period, I was asked to advise aspiring writers. The question made me pause briefly. “Who am I to advise aspiring writers?” An inner voice whispered. And then I realized that this was the answer – I am someone who writes with authenticity.
A voracious reader since childhood, I was also always a writer. Yet I was also always afraid of putting my words out there, baring my soul in print for people to critique. I once lied to a boy I was dating in high school when he asked me what my dream job was after he had made fun of a friend who said hers was to be an author. I didn’t want to admit I shared that dream and wanted to seem cool (to give myself credit, I broke up with him shortly after this conversation because he was the uncool one).
I avoided creative writing classes in college because I was nervous about sharing my work. I went on to pursue a career in writing, yet one that involved words on behalf of others and citing case law rather than sharing my own stories.
Shortly after I started my private practice as a therapist counseling women, I finally permitted myself to fill my time with writing. I was already taking risks and putting myself out there, so why not also do it by writing, which had always brought me joy?
I began writing regular musings on motherhood for Westchester County Mom and other local publications. I never cared about the number of readers I reached or the comments I received. Instead, I focused on the fun of it, on the fulfillment I felt by connecting with other women and sharing their stories – and sharing my own. I wrote chapters in published anthologies and numerous articles for various parenting-focused blogs. One of those pieces ultimately gave me the opportunity to write my book.
So the advice I’d give to aspiring writers — and to all women navigating anxiety-provoking life transitions, moms pursuing career shifts, or anyone considering trying something they think would make them happy — is this: What would you do if you weren’t afraid of judgment? People will always have their opinions, but you must remember your real reasons. Reframe that inner voice from a critic into one of a cheerleader. Have fun with it. Go for it.
And if you ever need words of encouragement as a reminder, please know you can read mine.
