With May being Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, there is much discussion around motherhood and mental health. As a mom and therapist for moms, I often think about putrescence and how it presents in the lives of myself and my clients. Yet, it’s a term that most are not familiar with.
Matrescence defines the developmental process of becoming a mother rather than viewing it as a one-time experience. This term highlights the ongoing physical, mental, emotional, and social changes that occur throughout the journey of motherhood.
Think of adolescence and all the changes that occur as a child transitions to adulthood. Most of us look back on our adolescent years and see the growing pains and hurdles we faced as we grew into adulthood.
Motherhood is also a developmental period, with experiences that can closely parallel those experienced during adolescence. While the saying goes, “When a child is born, so is a mother,” reality is far more complex.
Many mothers experience struggles, losses, changes, and uncertainty throughout motherhood, especially in the early days and years. While many women expect to feel like mothers immediately and automatically know all there is to know, matrescence holds space for the grey area. It allows room to grow and learn rather than being pressured to have mastered it all.
As you reflect on your experience of matrescence, you can ask yourself:
- What has my journey of motherhood looked like?
- When do I feel my story of motherhood began?
- When did I first feel like a mom?
- What has changed?
- What has stayed the same?
- What do I feel has been lost?
- What have I gained?
