I noticed my first symptoms around 43. I had been sleeping through the night routinely (after two decades of figuring out how), and suddenly, every night, I was waking up to pee. This became the new normal.
A few months after that started, I was waking up sweaty, followed by having trouble falling asleep, noticing an increase in anxiety, with some rage and anger creeping in. At 44, I jumped on our trampoline with my kids, leaked the tiniest bit of urine for the first time, and totally freaked out. At 45, I went for my well-visit and learned that I had gained ten pounds without changing any lifestyle habits.
The wellness business I own centers around the phases of a woman’s life, so I was very aware of what was happening, but I was in disbelief that perimenopause was happening to me.
I started troubleshooting right away by finding a pelvic floor PT, cranking the AC at night, putting a cooling fan in the bedroom, and taking a magnesium supplement at bedtime. For the time being, my symptoms are being managed. And when I start to feel rage while washing the dishes, I try to take a deep breath and say, “Oh hey, it’s just peri; you’re okay.”
According to Mary Claire Haver, who wrote The New Menopause, the list of perimenopausal symptoms women experience goes so far beyond night sweats, hot flashes, and a loss of bone density. Anything from acne, acid reflux, anxiety, asthma (which I developed at 44), autoimmune issues, brain fog, genitourinary symptoms, chronic fatigue, dental issues, kidney stones, muscle and joint aches, dry or itchy eyes, depression, dizzy spells, frozen shoulder, tinnitus, UTI’s, weight gain, incontinence, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, and IBS to name about half.
By definition, perimenopause is the extended transitional stage that happens before menopause. It is initiated by fluctuations in hormone levels, namely estrogen and progesterone. Because there is such a wide range of symptoms and how each individual experiences them at different ages (paired with the fact that there is no evidence-based test to diagnose it), perimenopause can be challenging to diagnose.
There is help for us, including each other! What helps each person will likely vary greatly, and some may need further intervention, like HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy – speak with a medical provider if you want in-depth advice on that topic).
Being aware of my symptoms has helped me. I keep a log that I can take to the doctor, and I also discuss what I’m experiencing with medical professionals. Lastly, don’t be afraid to talk to others about it and do your research (from experts in the field).
Increasing my exercise, including weight training, eating more protein, and having positive self-talk to try like hell to avoid fight-or-flight mode, which raises our cortisol, has helped me. It will be challenging, but we can get through it!
