We have all heard of the Sunday Scaries, but there is another one just as prevalent—the End-of-Summer Scaries.
This consists of fears the summer will end too quickly, that you haven’t enjoyed your summer enough, and the fear of missing out. The idea of returning to a school schedule and leaving the beach and pool days behind is real.
When I was a child, my mom reminded me that I would cry on the last day of school, fearing I wouldn’t see my friends again for the summer. Missing my teachers and the daily routine seemed jarring to me. I would also get nostalgic towards the end of summer, feeling the days went by too fast.
Transitions can be difficult and anxiety-provoking. However, they can also be exciting. Starting school again and preparing for the seasonal changes are steps into our next phase.
As parents, normalizing “The Scaries” is important in teaching our children how to handle change. Acknowledging and being able to accept endings and beginnings is essential for growth, and validating feelings around transitions is empowering.
We don’t have to ignore or deny these feelings. They aren’t a sign of weakness or dysfunction. In fact, they are called being human. Transition and change can be nerve-wracking. The unknown or the idea of not knowing what is coming next makes us vulnerable at times. However, during these transitional periods, we can build the foundations for our sense of self. We learn who we are and how resilient we are and develop coping skills and tools to embrace and comfort ourselves.
As a clinician, I find keeping these feelings “secret “and not acknowledging them can trigger them to become bigger than they need to be. By addressing them, we can unveil the “hidden monster” and identify it for what it is.
Endings and beginnings represent change. Change and time are not always in our control, but sometimes that can be good.
Having an open discussion with your children about their feelings and fears will allow them to take that narrative in their heads and learn how to process it. Shedding light on those thoughts will help your children see that there is excitement, too, in ending one season to begin another.
Finding peace within chaos and embracing endings and beginnings as a natural part of life is key. We will experience these “Scaries” at various times, but we should know that they can also become the greatest stepping stones.
Family Exercise
Write down your feelings about summer. What are your expectations? What do you hope to accomplish? Write down your feelings about September and back-to-school. Then, list goals for both:
- Personal
- Emotional
- Physical
- Employment
- Academic
- Social
- Financially
Then consider the following questions:
- What are the differences between summer and fall?
- What are the similarities between summer and fall?
- What can you bring to fall that brings that feeling of summer?
Have an open discussion as a family.
