As family surrounds us and the end of another year nears, we often reflect deeply. Exploring what we can improve on in the next year and how we can enhance our quality of life while finding peace within the chaos.
Finding peace and choosing peace are two different choices.
One identifies the who, what, where, when, and why peace is needed. The second choice is to choose peace. Peace is an ongoing journey of choice. It involves identifying areas in one’s life that are healthy and unhealthy. These include people, places, jobs, and even those closest to you at times.
It can be challenging to realize that choosing your peace might be choosing to distance yourself from a relationship. Various people in our lives play many different roles in our well-being. We can choose how we respond; however, how someone can make us feel is out of our control.
We are all human. We are not superheroes. Many times, we underestimate the power others hold over our peace. This is when that tough decision comes into play. Choosing peace doesn’t mean you can’t stand up for yourself or always have to have the last word. It means evaluating who brings out the best in you and knowing that the people you surround yourself with have your best interest at heart. Assessing how they make you feel is very telling.
Reevaluating your relationships, interactions, and contacts is essential in choosing peace.
Taking a mental, emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual inventory is a great indicator of the impact each one has on your life. As time goes by, we observe patterns of behaviors and thoughts in ourselves and our families. Some of these patterns are in our control, but many might not be. I have learned that the patterns that are not in our control usually involve external factors. We can’t control those around us. We can only have control over how we respond or not respond. This is where we take our power back and become empowered.
I completely understand how difficult it is to sever relationships and contacts and distance yourselves from various environments. However, to make your family’s mental health a priority, this step is necessary.
Choosing peace requires an active mindset. It is important to model how to choose peace for your children. Having ongoing discussions with your children can open up a space for them to express themselves. Teaching children how to use their voices is powerful and effective.
- Encourage your child to identify feelings.
- Ask them to observe their mood and feelings throughout the day.
- Have them list any mood changes and describe them.
- Observe the setting. Identify people, places, and events before, during, and after the mood change.
- Create a list of actions that could help them improve their feelings.
- Start with small activities that they can utilize in a quiet setting.
- Allow them to experiment with different exercises and monitor the impact on their mood.
- Rate your mood throughout the day.
- Explore dealbreakers.
Validate that it’s okay that not everyone is a good fit for us. As my mom often said, “Knowing that it is okay, that not everyone will like us. It might hurt, but it is a part of life. However, we must remind ourselves that it is also okay that we don’t have to like everyone either.”
