On a recent Monday night, I skipped my kids’ bedtime. I didn’t miss it because I was working, which I do sometimes as a therapist who works with women in stressful, time-consuming fields like finance and law. Instead, I took the evening off to go dancing with a friend whom I’ve been close with since we were 12. And we had a blast.
My 40th birthday is this month. I probably would have believed you if you had told me at age 12 or 25 that I’d be dancing with my old friend to ’90s boy bands at age 40. In some ways, the more things change, the more they stay the same. And in other ways, I’ve learned by now most things are temporary.
I’ve been thinking a lot about aging lately as I enter this new life chapter and prepare to publish a book on midlife. I don’t feel old until my back hurts from bending down while picking up laundry or my children tell me that I don’t understand what it’s like to be a kid these days. I still have friends (and clothes) from college, which feels like yesterday. I am still the person I was in my youth regarding values (and interests in TV shows).
I used to write myself letters for each birthday in my teens, wondering if I’d accomplish my goals for the year or whether my friend groups had shifted. I’m proud to say that at 40, I’ve achieved professional milestones I didn’t think were possible, and I’ve learned to be kinder to myself about the self-inflicted pressure I can feel to be productive.
At 40, I’m still friends with so many people I was close to as a kid (we recently went to Nashville to celebrate our birthdays!), and I’ve learned to embrace all kinds of friendships for all different aspects of life. I’m happy, healthy, and humble. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, but I recognize my privileges, strive to pay it forward, and know there is always room to learn and grow.
I’m excited for my 40s. Let’s celebrate life.
