Single moms all have one thing in common: Independence. No matter the circumstances, independence and being single go together like peanut butter and jelly, rainbows and unicorns, and milk and cookies. But it also means that single moms are doing it all.
Like it or not, we all have responsibilities that we can only rely on ourselves for. As a single mom, I know how challenging it can be to keep everything moving in a timely, structured manner. The more kids you have, the more stress you have, and one of the best ways to combat that stress is a good routine (and maybe a little wine!).
Balance is key, and time management is everything, especially during the school year. When school is in session, it’s imperative you get your kids out the door and yourself to your home office or actual place of work in a timely fashion. There is no time for dilly-dallying, and the pressure is on.
Some think a colorful whiteboard with stickers and markers is the answer to everything, but none of that matters unless you have follow-through and organization. You can fill in the calendar, but things can get hairy fast if you don’t know the exact time and schedule of each sport, activity, or doctor’s appointment.
It’s wise to keep all dates stored on your iCal on your smartphone; that way, you have a backup that you can refer back to, and set up text message alerts to let you know in advance when appointments are scheduled. Unfortunately, we live in a time when a cute calendar on the fridge has taken a backseat to devices.
It’s a lot for one person to juggle and can become overwhelming. It’s easy to feel like you’re losing your mind running here, there, and everywhere, just trying to keep a schedule. Single moms most definitely have their hands full, and dinner time is no exception.
Kids are picky eaters, and what should and could be a simple meal can turn into a headache if you have more than one child. Three different dinner requests can not only become super annoying but costly as well! This unnecessary but common glitch in the system can add to the weekly grocery bill.
We must always be prepared and have the fridge full to accommodate when mac-and-cheese isn’t as big of a crowd-pleaser as it once was. Taco Tuesday, a staple in most families, can turn into a mish-mosh of side dishes and maybe even fruit, throwing a wrench into the dinner plan. Although fruit is always a healthy option, it must always be consumed with something else to ensure your kiddos’ tummies are full. Otherwise, you’ll most likely find yourself standing in the kitchen making scrambled eggs at 11 p.m. when your kids wake you with the infamous “I’m hungry” skit.
The number one issue with this is obvious: the notion that we should not be making all these different meals to begin with. Everyone should eat what is being served, but let’s face it, that isn’t the case most of the time. Back in the day, our parents never made all these different dishes, it was starve or eat what is on the table. However, with ever-changing schedules and homework, getting something on the table and moving along with the evening is easier. So we find ourselves fighting against what we know is right and the latter, which is the most convenient.
Some might label us single moms as pushovers, but at the end of the day, we need to do what we need to do to make things run as smoothly as possible. There is no room for error or wasting time because it all falls on us.
The luxury of having Dad take over for bedtime or when things get rough is not there. The harsh reality is that we play the role of both mom and dad and so although we may let things slide, it’s because we don’t have the backup to maintain that element of discipline. It is challenging to run a household and not feel like we are sometimes failing.
However, the key is to remind yourself every day that you’re not alone. There are plenty of other single moms out there trying to make it through the day without crashing and burning.
Our mental health is extremely fragile, and we need to remind ourselves that we are setting an example for our little ones by showing them that we can keep it all together and run a productive household no matter what obstacles come our way. It’s important to remember that as long as our kiddos’ are happy, it doesn’t matter if we have a three-course meal every night or if bedtime is at the same time.
The little things make the difference; our kids smiling at us shows they are at peace and feel safe and comfortable in their surroundings. Their happiness goes a long way and lets us know we are doing a great job, and at the end of the day, that’s all we need to keep a little pep in our step.
