My first ever mom ‘title’ was – ‘not sure I’ll ever be a’ mom. Fast-forward, I am a ‘step-mom’ to three girls, a ‘new’ mom to my 5-month-old son, a ‘working’ mom, a ‘host’ mom to two wonderful au pairs, a ‘dog’ mom, a ‘Westchester’ mom, and I’m learning more mom titles every day.
I’m finding that, while the descriptors before ‘mom’ are very important, simply being a mom is now my most defining characterization. When I think about how I described myself previously, there wasn’t a one-word answer that could illustrate the most crucial aspect of my life. Even answers to simple questions required context.
For example:
What is your name? Well, my first name is Rebecca. I go by my maiden name at work and use my husband’s last name in personal settings, but I’m okay if people call me by either.
Where are you from? I’m originally from West Virginia. I attended Cornell University, moved to Manhattan afterward, and recently moved to Westchester County.
What do you do for a living? I’ve previously worked at a large bank and now am an investing partner at a venture fund based in California. (My mom would tell you that it isn’t that clear even in this context.)
What’s your personality type? I consider myself extroverted, though I save most of my strong opinions for my best friends and family and otherwise try to go along to get along. I like to try new foods, travel to new places, and meet new people.
Now, most of my prior answers don’t seem nearly as telling about me, and my answers sound different today.
What is your name? I use my husband’s last name to match our son’s name.
Where are you from? My family lives in Chappaqua.
What do you do for a living? I work from home.
What’s your personality type? I’m a somewhat anxious mom trying not to be a somewhat anxious mom.
I’m aware that this shift in identity is permanent, though it may not always feel like such a seismic shift. There will likely be a day, maybe many years in the future, when my identity does not feel like it is entirely correlated with my title as a mom.
