The rock. The hero. The guy who has it all together. Great and supportive fathers are often placed in these almost super-human roles. Yet, does he have the space not to be all of these things all the time? Let’s take a moment to talk about Dad and the little-talked-about topic of paternal mental health.
What Do We Know About Paternal Mental Health
If you’ve read my other blogs, you’ll quickly see that I talk a lot about maternal mental health. As a therapist, this is my area of specialty, and I feel so grateful to be able to work with mothers who are navigating trying to conceive, pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond.
Yet, maternal mental health is only part of the story. Paternal mental health can also play an important role in the well-being of the family system. Focus on Dad is often forgotten when thinking about perinatal mental health, yet we know that dads can experience mental health struggles during the perinatal period.
Some facts that we know are…
- 10 percent of dads meet criteria for postpartum depression
- 4-16 percent of dads meet criteria for an anxiety disorder during their partner’s pregnancy
- 2-18 percent of dads meet criteria for an anxiety disorder during the postpartum period
The Weight on Dads
Dads bear a different burden during the perinatal period. Many experience difficulty feeling justified in their struggles as they focus on the sacrifices and changes their partner endured. Especially if their partner is struggling, they may feel compelled to be strong and stoic at all times.
Societally, many men grow up without the space, teaching, and acceptance of emotional vulnerability. This can significantly impact a dad’s ability to recognize the emotions he is feeling in the moment, express these emotions to someone else, and find ways to cope with them. Without this emotional access, it can lead to a dad not being aware of his struggle, accessing other ways to cope with these emotions (like avoiding, pushing away, using substances, or lashing out), or not getting the support he needs.
This is evident when examining various outcomes for men. We can see that men are significantly more likely than women to partake in risk-taking behavior, substance abuse, and violent behaviors.
How to Support Paternal Mental Health
Discussion around paternal mental health is so important to bring awareness to the topic and begin to dispel the stigma that surrounds it. This can be an open discussion with your partner about his own experiences and feelings. It can also involve sharing information about paternal mental health and the resources available.
Resources About Paternal Mental Health
- Postpartum Support International has fantastic resources around paternal mental health, including fact sheets, free support groups for dads, and a directory for finding a therapist who specializes in this area.
- Daddy Boot Camp
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DAD: Untold Stories of Fatherhood, Love, Mental Health & Masculinity, written by Elliott Rae
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Daddy Blues: Postnatal Depression and Fatherhood, written by Mark Williams
- Children’s Book: Color Thief, by Andrew Fusek Peters and Polly Peters
