The Big Five OH!

1970 babes! This is it, boys and girls – the year we turn 50—the 50th birthday. Before we go any further, let’s get the clichés out of the way. G’head…get them out of your system. It’ll make you feel better.

50 & Fabulous! 
I Can’t Keep Calm. I’m Turning 50! 
50 is the new 40!!
Fifty is only 14 in Scrabble!
If things get better with age, then you’re approaching magnificent!

So here I am. Finishing up the last days of my 40s. Obviously, it’s better than the alternative, but boy, that happened fast. I’ve never been shy about my age, but I do think it’s hilarious that I’m at “this” age already. What puzzles me is how quickly the years go by. They say time flies when you’re having fun, so I’m going with that.

So What’s 50 All About?

Sally O’Malley, a Saturday Night Live character that debuted on the show in 1999 and was portrayed by Molly Shannon. I was 29 at the time, and I imagine I thought it was hilarious. Even though my parents were already in their 50s and much cooler than Sally, it’s possible I did think she sorta represented 50. Sally wore a red jumpsuit and a bouffant hairstyle, which I could never pull off even if my life depended on it. Have y’all seen my hair?

Part of her act was to pull her pants up high, while energetically spewing “I like to kick, and stretch and KICK! I’m 50!” Good for Sally for believing she was a youthful 50. She was spunky, but in most ways, especially her physical appearance, she was a middle-aged woman. So is this 50? (PS – You’d be 71 now, Sally – so take that!).

How about the whole Blanche/JLo comparison shortly after the Super Bowl? When the Golden Girls premiered in 1985, the actress who played Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan) was 51. More than likely, the character she portrayed was probably older, and no disrespect to the late actress, but is that 50?

And then there’s JLo. Wow. Is this 50? Now, truth be told, I may be a little scared if Jennifer Lopez at 50 is the new 50. Cause I don’t come close to looking like JLo at 50, but then again…I didn’t look like JLo at 30 either, so there’s that.

What should 50 feel like? What should 50 look like? What’s the 50th birthday all about?  

The Quotes of My Celebrities

Many of my friends have recently celebrated their 50th birthday or will be turning 50 this year.

Brett: “Don’t believe the media portrayals of what it means to be 50. Remember Archie Bunker and Maude? Those characters were both younger than 50 when the shows began. I look at them now, and I’d peg them as late ’60s. I’m 50 and loving it. Life is good. I’m happy and healthy. Heck — I’m hoping to test for my third-degree black belt in Taekwondo this summer. Age is a number. Attitude and activity are what matter.”

Ken: “Waking up on certain mattresses is the same feeling as falling three stories on my side.”

Marla: “Starting to feel it in the bones but still trying to rock it!”

Jen: “OMG, I’ve been contemplating this myself as I’m turning 50 in April. It’s totally subjective, of course. For months, I’ve been dreading it, feeling old, facing my mortality. Then it hit me…my 40’s SUCKED! From a nasty divorce to losing my dad, to gaining (and losing) weight, to having to date again, to making some poor choices…I welcome 50 with open arms!” 

Bobby: “The worst part is just saying that number when asked my age.”

Victoria: “I’m still shocked. I’m over 50, as I don’t ‘feel’ old. Then I look at my children and realize I’m old just by the way I speak. I date myself with my vocabulary. So, in the long run, it’s a number no different than another. It’s how you perceive life and age.”

Mitch: “I am now 53, but I viewed turning 50 as my ‘I have no (insert “your choice word” here) to give’ decade.” I do what I want, I say what I want. I’ve learned that NO is a complete sentence. My divorce taught me that life is short, and it’s time to be happy.”

Pete: “Turned 50 last March. Just another day to me. Love those around you each day, each day above ground is a good day if you’re 25 or 50.”

Maria: “Turned 50 in December, and I have to say I love it. I feel very self-confident and fearless. Comfortable in my skin. Don’t fear it or worry about it… You’ve had half a century to make mistakes, and you are still ok! So enjoy every second.”

Walker: “You can’t break a woman who isn’t afraid to fight on her own.”

Sharon: “I was actually fine with it. My ‘hard’ decade change was 30 if you can believe it. I had a MAJOR party with 40, and 50 was just like ‘whatever.” I don’t know if it’s because my mom has been so ill, but I was honestly planning to ignore it, and my friends wouldn’t let me, so they were throwing me a nice party, which wound up not happening because my mom went into the hospital that night anyway. So when I think about 50, the only thing that really occurs to me is the change in roles, not the age difference.”

Rebecca: “I don’t feel 50 – but I do sense the invisibility of aging; do we still matter to others? I remember turning 35, knowing I’d left the desirable 18-34 advertising age bracket and had joined the 35-49 age bracket. Now, am I in the 50-64 group? On the flip side, I can retire and apply for my pension at 55 – so I am like a 16-year-old waiting to turn 21!”

Barbara: “My age never bothered me until I turned 50. That was a hard one. I think that number seems to me to mean you’re now middle-aged.”

Sheri: “I’ve been 50 for 8 years, and I know every day I open my eyes and live is a blessing. Ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive as the boss says. Yes, sure, I look older, but all of that means life.”

Romy: “Today, my doctor told me I need to schedule a colonoscopy. Because it’s time. (PSA for us all!) “

Sue: “This came in the mail today, and while I am not particularly bothered by being 50, it feels premature. I guess it bothers me more that someone views me as older than I feel.”

Debbie: “I turn 50 in May, and I am scared of turning 50. I can’t believe it—so many good memories of growing up. I lost my sister at 52 years old. That scares me the most.”

Holly: “The number did not bother me at all. The day I turned 50 was great! It did make me take a look around and appreciate all those in ‘my village’ who support my family and me every day. I am comfortable and confident in my skin and love what I do. I genuinely feel I am my best self in most ways – more fit and thinner is always a goal, most days. Embrace it! 49 years of practice helped too!”

Finally, a friend anonymously hit the nail on the head: “I can definitely say that I think 50 is the new 40, and I believe that as a whole, our generation of 50-year-olds looks so much younger than previous generations did at our age. I think we are redefining what it means to be 50.

Turning 50 also definitely means becoming more confident and caring less about what other people think. Fifty is a significant number. In my mind, my parents are still 50. It just seems like a number that I am too young to be. Turning 50 also makes you realize – if not now, when..? It’s a wake-up call, reminding you to do the things you want to do – take that trip, see that concert, push yourself to reach your goals, etc.

Nathan Scott in “One Tree Hill” expressed this feeling very well when he said, “It’s the oldest story in the world. One day, you’re seventeen and planning for someday, and then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today, and then someday is yesterday, and this is your life.” We are in the “someday is today” stage, and turning 50 helps put things in perspective. It motivates you to be the best you that you can be.”

Someday IS Today!

How amazingly brilliant are my “celebrities”? I’m so lucky to have them in my life! 50 can’t be too bad if this is the company that I’m in. I respect the heck out of all of them and send my sincere thanks for sharing their thoughts on what could be a sensitive subject.

A valid assortment of feelings and thoughts about aging: sure, there are the fun games of “which body part will hurt me today?” and other times when just the words that come out of our mouths will give us away. Yet, the overwhelming positivity and optimism are heartwarming. Incredible perspectives about embracing the 50th birthday, aging, and looking forward to what’s to come. Many excellent points all around and great words to live by.

To be honest, I don’t. I truly know how I feel about my 50th birthday yet. Maybe I’ll tell you when I’m 60! (Knock on wood!). Now, I’m not going to lie, it’s a bummer to know that lots of my life is behind me…But I am ready to celebrate myself and my fellow 1970-born mates. We deserve to mark this milestone with joy and continue to embrace all that life offers. Nostalgia and bittersweet notions are more than acceptable – but never look back with the intentions of staying there.

My daughter informed me that my birthday is the first day of spring this year. It’s fallen on the last day of winter for as long as I can remember. A notable difference in the day the seasons change falls on the very same day as my 50th birthday? I like my chances with this turning 50 thing.

Sally at 50, Blanche at 50, or JLo at 50 – I am privileged to be Melissa at 50, and I’ll take it from there.

Dedicated to my fellow 1970-born ladies. Happy 50th birthday, loves! I adore you, and thanks for taking the ride with me!