Today, as a present and ever-protective mom, do you let your kid sleep over at another family’s house? This question is plaguing me as my endless excuses for my son not sleeping over at his best friend’s house are running out.
I do not want to insult the other mom (whom I love), but it’s not happening. I do not know who else regularly visits her home; I do not know that all doors are locked at all times. I don’t know if there are fire extinguishers or if she knows how to use my son’s epi-pens.
Even if he weren’t allergic to peanuts, I wouldn’t let him sleep anywhere except for his grandparents’ homes. I want to tell my son’s best friend’s mother straight out, but I also don’t want to open a dialogue about sleepovers.
I know I might be wrong. I might be over-analyzing. I might be a helicopter parent. The bottom line is – it’s not happening. But why do I feel so bad about saying that?
Let’s preface this with the fact that I was allowed to sleepover anywhere on any weekend as young as seven years old. I had a best friend in grammar school, and our older siblings were in the same year, so our moms were pregnant together. Her dad was my swim coach, and we all went to church together.
At our first sleepover, I got a nosebleed, and I remember waking up in the middle of the night and trying to find her mom and feeling very upset, but it was okay. I remember that experience, and I wasn’t traumatized; it was a normal life experience.
Why am I so scared of my kids being away from me overnight? Maybe it’s all the horror stories I have heard about abuse, maybe it’s my son’s peanut allergy and ADHD, maybe it’s my controlling nature? I am protecting my kids, but am I limiting their growth, independence, and normal life experiences?
I asked another mom about this topic. She is a special education teacher, and her husband is a police officer. We all go to the same church. I know her parents, and she has met mine. If I were ever going to let my child sleep over at ANY house other than my grandparents, I would let them sleep over at her home. Her rule? No sleepovers in either direction.
“I tell everyone my rule is no sleepovers. My kids can stay there so late that they fall asleep at your house, but I am getting them and bringing them home. Your kids can stay late at my house, but no sleepovers are allowed, ever.”
She went on to say, “How can I make a rule that your kid is safe at my house, but I don’t feel my kid would be safe at yours?” She’s not wrong, but I differ in opinion. I don’t want my child left out, so I let other kids sleep at our house. I prefer play dates at my home even if it means too many kids and a big mess for me to clean up.
