My husband and I always agreed that we’d have two children. I have a brother, and he has a sister. We both believed that having more than one child was the best way to teach our daughter about sharing, about kindness, about patience—that the world didn’t revolve around her.
My husband also believes that the shared experience of growing up in the same house with the same parents creates a particularly special bond between siblings. We hoped that our children would have built-in best friends for life. Of course, not all siblings are best friends. My husband and his sister are very close, but my brother and I are not (there are also eight years between us).
Still, we had made this decision early on and stuck with it even when I felt perfectly content with my singleton. Even when I wondered how I’d ever love another baby as much as I loved her. Even when I suffered a miscarriage and thought maybe one was all we were entitled to, we pressed on. And last March, we welcomed our second baby girl into our lives.
And guess what—we were right! I mean, I was wrong about it being hard to love a second child as much as the first. It wasn’t. I did from the moment I lay eyes on her. But we were right about it being a wonderful thing for our firstborn. She is so proud to be a big sister and never misses the chance to tell every person we meet, “That’s my sister.”
When the baby wakes up from a nap, she is the first to run up to her crib. She fetches diapers, feeds her, and “watches” her for me. My daughter brings the baby’s toys to her, makes sure she has her pacifier and sings to her when she’s fussy. The baby’s face lights up when her big sister walks into the room—she is her favorite person.
I’ve discovered nothing better than seeing your children play happily together.
My heart nearly bursts when I hear the baby laughing at some silly thing her sister has done. When the baby puts her head on her sister’s shoulder, I practically tear up with happiness.
And yes, I know all this super-lovingness may not last. We have already had some block castles toppled by our newly on-the-move baby. My big girl experienced some boredom when I was still nursing. But those are the teachable moments we were sure would happen.
Patience is probably the most necessary virtue when you’re a preschooler living with a baby. It’s all going according to plan. When I look back on my doubts about this, I realize that, while completely normal, they were silly.
Many people have and are content with one child. Everyone should do what’s in their own best interest. And, I’m sure that when I have teenage girls arguing over clothes and makeup and the car, I might experience a second or two of doubt that having a second child was the right choice. (I jest, of course, but let’s be honest, you know what I mean.) But for now, our family feels complete in a way I now realize it didn’t a year ago.
