Let me first be clear: I’m talking about actual physical walls — the stucco and sheetrock kind — not the pseudo-therapeutic debate about cutting so-called “toxic” people out of your life that dominated this past holiday season.
Like Reagan demanding Gorbachev tear down the Berlin Wall, everyone wanted mine demolished. It started with our realtor decades ago, gesturing at the kitchen and den: “Imagine the potential. Just take down this wall.” — structural concerns unaddressed. Everyone was hunting for — or creating — open floor plans back then. Our home’s easy conversion was supposed to seal the deal. With one kid and years away from the overdue kitchen renovation, I nodded politely. As a guest in homes with great rooms, I saw the appeal.
But, when renovation time finally came — now with multiple children — I was certain: we were keeping our walls up! Contractors, decorators, and well-meaning friends all pushed the same script about one big space where the family congregates, constantly. Like a stubborn mother who believes she knows best, I refused. And I was right, for my family and for me.
Sure, there’s a lovely fantasy of all the children in one room playing or doing homework as the older ones help the youngsters, while I work, cook, and manage family life. Some modern Norman Rockwell family scene. Maybe that works for some families. Not mine. We needed separation. Privacy. Quiet areas. Walls.
Three sons spanning a ten-plus-year age spread meant wildly different needs and interests. What intrigued one boy irritated another, before accounting for their regular combat. Even with our main level walls, sound carried up and down. One kid needed a sound machine in his bedroom to block the ‘disturbing cacophony’ below. For the homework-doing kid in the kitchen, walled-off television noise was a problem. Some days, even the walls were not enough.
And that’s just managing the children. What about the adults? The great room becomes the children’s domain by default — claimed by scattered Legos and gaming systems. Good luck trying to evict the kids when you want to watch a non-G-rated movie or sporting event. Unless you have a second playroom. Which we did not. And work? Forget it.
I need a door I can close — actual quiet for actual thinking, not the ambient chaos of one big room. Besides, everyone ends up in the kitchen when you’re cooking for a crowd anyway — open floor plan or not. You don’t need to demolish walls for that.
Of course, one day you will get the great room back. After all, as kids get older, they don’t want to congregate. Teenagers retreat. They want doors that close, privacy from siblings (and parents), and their own space. That beautiful vision of constant family togetherness? It has an expiration date. Walls age better.
So imagine my amusement at seeing recent headlines touting the decline of the open-concept floor plan and exclaiming that closed-concept layouts are returning. And the reasons are exactly what you’d expect – privacy, personal space, and noise. Exactly.
I’m not gloating — okay, maybe a little — but really it comes down to this: doing what is right for you and your family. Trends are fine to notice and even follow. But if it doesn’t work, it’s not worth the wall dust.
