Are women treated fairly when it comes to their health? From my own experience, women are often misdiagnosed, mistreated, or dismissed regarding physical or mental health. It’s frustrating and disheartening.
I have had many chronic conditions throughout my life, starting in infancy and continuing until my early to mid-thirties. Like many people who seek medical advice or help, I believed whatever my doctors told me. I got the procedures and surgeries they strongly pushed for. I took all the medications they prescribed, including experimental medications and chemotherapy, without really needing it. But I still thought they knew best.
Fast forward to 2015, when I was dismissed almost three times from the ER with a “UTI,” but I was actually suffering from kidney failure. A female medical professional scolded me for coming back. I was holding my discharge papers in my shaky hands, unable even to stand up, when a young medical student rushed into the room to tell me they were admitting me and that I was having acute kidney failure.
After recovering, I learned to trust my gut more than doctors.
I knew that day at the ER it was serious, and no one believed me. I had a very high fever, my body was shaking violently, my feet were swollen, I was unable to urinate, I was hallucinating, and I was unable to eat or drink. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I had left again that day, especially with a toddler and a 10-year-old at home.
I learned to advocate for myself, ask questions, and persist. Medical professionals usually don’t like patients like me, but I don’t care. If my body and health are on the line, I have every right to choose the care I need, accept their advice, and voice my concerns if I have any.
I wouldn’t be writing about this if it weren’t for a renewed concern for my daughter, who goes to college in a different state. She just turned 19, and by law, I’m not allowed to know about her health even though she wants me to. She recently had to sign consent forms allowing me access to her records and to speak on her behalf if needed.
Recently, she experienced severe pain, and she had to go to the ER, where she was left unattended for four hours until someone finally saw her and got her a hallway bed with no privacy.
She was on the phone with me, exhausted with more discomfort than she started with, and dehydrated. She spent the night in the hallway with no significant intervention or care. That’s when I told her she had to advocate for herself – ask for water, about the delays, the care plan in place, to be discharged if there’s nothing they can do for you, or a referral to a specialist, etc.
Unfortunately, it looks like we still have a long way to go regarding how women are treated, how their bodies are treated, and the decisions made concerning their bodies. All I can do is advise my daughter to educate herself and advocate for herself regarding her health and body.
